#like if every fast food page is the same thats good because it means you already know how to order from all of them

[traaanskimkitsuragi]

i remember seeing a post circulate around about how the old web had more visually interesting website design and how in modern days all fast food sites and stuff look the same and im just so baffled by it because i think back to all the times i wanted to order food from like local restaurants and then i would find their website and sure it would look more visually appealing than say the webpage of mcdonalds but i would inevitably close it in like 2 minutes without ordering anything because it would be so fucking cluttered i couldnt find any of the options i wanted to

[words-for-holland]

Quarantine Series: Movie Night

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: A glimpse of what Movie Night is like for Tom & Y/N

A/N: I’ve been missing our fave couple from Quarantine Series 😩 and Fluff in general lol.

Check the Rest: Burnt Out | A New Look | Secret Cuts & Kisses | Breaking Friendships |The Birthday Week | Silence is Golden?|

Many may not know this, but at the start of Y/N & Tom’s relationship they made a couple of promises. To always be honest with each other, communicate as much as they can, and tell each other “I love you” everyday. But there was one promise they loved the most, Movie Nights every Wednesday...no exceptions! Of course, this was just a promise they made to each other at the start of Quarantine. Nonethless, it’s a Wednesday Night and the show must go on...literally.

Y/N’s alarm went off at 6 P.M., alerting her it was time to drop all her work. As she started logging off and rearranging her notes, she felt a pair of strong hands placed gently on her shoulders. “It’s Wednesday Night.” Her boyfriend whispered in her ear with a smile of excitement plastered on his face. “You know what that means.”

Y/N placed her small hands on his as she turned to give his a quick kiss. “Movie Nights with a side of cuddles?” She answered, sighing deeply in comfort. “I’ve been waiting for this all day.”

“Darling, I’ve waited all week.” Tom fired back, chuckling lightly. He helped her out of her seat, as he led her to the living room. “So, I’ll grab the snacks and you pick out the movie?”

Y/N looked at him, cocking her eyebrow in suspicion. “Babe, you know how long it takes for me to find a movie to watch.” It’s true. If there was one thing Y/N was well known for, it was for her indecisiveness. For Y/N, picking a movie wasn’t the kind where you could pick the first one off the self or what was in the Top 10. It had to be a movie that set the mood, had adventure, had nostalgia, with a hint of darkness and entertainment.

“I know, and I’m hoping by the time I get all the food and stuff ready, you’d find a movie by then.” Tom explained, kissing away her suspicion. “Plus I already did ask you to marry me. Im out of the surprises at the moment.”

Y/N smiled at his comment, looking at her ring and thinking about that day. “True. Im just saying it’s gonna be awhile.”

“Well, hopefully you find one within the hour.” Tom kisses the top of Y/N’s head one more time before he leaves for the kitchen. As Y/N sets up Netflix on the screen and starts her search, Harrison, Harry and Tuwaine make their way into the living room. Their faces dropping when they see Y/N, picking out a movie.

“Well lads, we picked the wrong week for Movie Night.” Harrison joked around. “Damn, I thought Tom was picking out the movie.”

“Hey! I know I take forever but I dont take THAT long.” Y/N argues as she stucks her tongue out playfully.

“Y/N, I could probably finish our movie script by the time you find one.” Harry joins in as he sits down on his usual seat at the far left corner.

“Yeah mate and I can probably do my laundry too and finish Call of Duty by the time shes done.” Tuwaine laughs, as he takes his seat.

“Look Y/N, I’ll make a bet with you. If you can find a movie in the next ten minutes I’ll give you 20 quid. How much is that in American dollars” Harrison says, with no sign of bluff.

“I think $20” Tuwaine says, when he comes to the realization of what Harrison was offering. “Oi, wait! You’re gonna give this girl 20 quid if she just picks a lousy movie?!”

“Relax you div. He knows Y/N wont just pick any movie thats why he’s betting a good chunk.” Harry says as he watches Y/N scroll through the same page for a movie.

Y/N looks back at the boys, as she smirks slightly. “Okay fine. Start the clock.”

The moment they started the timer, Y/N immediately yells, “Done! We’re watching Series of Unfortunate Events.”

Harry and Tuwain groan in unision as they look at Harrison. “Mate, now you gotta pay her 20 quid.” Tuwain whispers to him.

“Yeah, but at least you’re not waiting for another 8 hours before she picks one.” Harrison whispers back to which Tuwaine nods in agreement.

“A clever div, you are.” Tuwaine responds.

Tom enters the living room with freshley popped popcorn, Crunch bars, and Oreos. It was their usual every week and both swore they couldn’t finish Movie Night without it. “Oh cmon! I thought you’d guys wouldn’t join this week.” Tom groaned as he sees his best mates all hogging the couch with Y/N.

“Sorry mate, but Y/N picked a classic, so we’re staying....and I lost 20 quid for this.” Harrison mumbled as he sunk further into the couch.

Tom rolls his eyes as he walks past the filled couch only to stop at Y/N. He quickly scoops her up bridal style, as she squeaks at the sudden moment. Soon after, he drops her off on to the next couch, and wraps his strong arms around her tummy. Intaking her cocoa butter scent, which smelled like chocolate, he nuzzles his head into her neck. “Not the Movie Night I imagined, but as long as I get to cuddle you...it’s just as perfect.” He confesses as they watch the screen.

“Hmm...it’s always perfect with you.” Y/N mumbles as she struggles to open her eyes. It was a habit of hers to fall asleep when watching the movies she picked. Not because they were boring, but because of how comforting they were. The mood of the film, the dark atmosphere with only the television lighting up the room, Tom holding her and leaving soft kisses...how could she not?

“It’s okay darling, if you want to sleep. I got you.” He whispers, smiling into her hair. Y/N tilts her head back to look at Tom. “I know you do. I love you.” She whispers back, as Tom leans into to peck her small lips. Within minutes, Y/N falls fast asleep and so do the other boys. Tom looks around and smiles, thinking of how incredible it is to genuinely feel like he’s home. He shuts off the television once the movie ends, and places a blanket on the boys so they keep warm. For Y/N, he gently carries her off to their bedroom as he tucks both of them in, falling back asleep after yet another successful Movie Night.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @parkerspillow

[arthurflecksgirl]

Subway scene /Arthurs POV

The subway is moving forwards, while everything inside of me is standing still. Frozen. Numb even. The numbness takes over me, except for the real bad headache. I shouldnt have done that. Hurting myself. But sometimes I just cant help it. Sometimes the sadness turns into anger and I dont want to hurt anyone, so I punish myself instead of anyone else. Instead of the people that hurt me all my life. I just sit there and take it, and try to cry my eyes out afterwards, but I cant even do that. Not a tear.

Silence. At least on the outside. Inside of me silence doesnt excist.

I don`t say much. I would love to talk a lot actually, but I gave it up when I realized that people won`t listen anyway. I prefer to write in my jornal nowdays. Its saver for me. My journal can`t missunderstand me. At least I hope so.

But yeah… if only they would give me the chance to explain myself. They would notice that I`m a good guy.  But they won`t. To them it doesnt matter how big my heart is or that is filled with lonelyness. I do write my jokes for OTHER people. To make them happy. To be seen as someone who want to spread positivity. But they remain unheard. My jokes are only scribbles in my journal. At least up until now. I`ve got the feeling that change is about to come. Like….I can feel soemthing growing inside of me. Not sure what it is though. Its just a gut feeling but trusting my feelings is another story...

I look outside the window. Graffitys on the dirty surface cover half of my reflection. Half of my face, a blurr. Funny because thats how I feel right now. I notice how worn out my face must seem to others. A sad eyed clown, abandoned from the rest of the world. I can`t smile for anyone today. Not after Hoyt fired me. How could I ever tell my mum when I get home? I just told her that she shouldt worry about money, or me. That my stand ups are ready for the big clubs. And now I got nothing left.  Not even my job, which I loved. Mum and I didnt had much money but it was enough to get us through. What now? She`ll be so dissappointed in me. I wanted make her proud. I wanted her to watch her son up on the stage, thinkng “I`m so proud of him. He really made it. ” But all she is going to say now is “Oh happy. I guess you just weren`t funny enough”.

I turn around and face the seats, trying to get eye contact with a lady. I crave human connection so much. It would feel so good if she would just look me in the eye for a second. It would be like a proof that I am here and people notice. But she doesnt. Maybe she`s too caught up in her own thoughts. Maybe she questions her own existence just like me.

The doors open, she gets up and leaves. A deep sigh is escaping my painted lips. Three guys are getting in, talking about a girl they danced with. The conversation caughts my attention. Sounds like they were at a dance club or something. I`ve never been at one, so I try to hear all the details about how a normal guy would manage to make out with a girl. I really could need some good advice, but after only a few seconds I realize that the guys must be drunk. One of them claims that the girl was in love with him, while his buddy says it aint true. Nothing to learn here.

It is now that I realized that there is a pretty girl sitting across me. “Want some french fries?” one of the drunk guys asks her and the way he does so makes me feel uncomfortable.  Him trying to get her attention feels wrong.

“Helloooo?” .

“No, thank you” The girl seems annoyed. “They`re real good!”  he says, before he starts throwing the food at her.  “C`mon” the other one says “He`s being nice to you”.

The girl just wants to read her book. Why would they even bother her? I have never been on a date before but this sure isnt how I woud treat a woman. I would try to be a gentleman. To become a beautiful memory which she writes down in her diary when the day is done. I want to become a romanic page in a womans diary. A poem. A lover.

I take a look at the cover of what she is reading. Alice in wonderland. I like that. Alice knew how to create a world of her own. Reality couldnt bother her anymore. But her dream world did. I guess there is just no way to escape your own mind.

I get nervous, noticing that she makes eye contact with me. I was longing for eye contact just minutes ago but now that this pretty girl looks right at me I`m sweating.  I guess she wants me to say something to them. To step in and tell them to leave her the fuck alone. The friendly clown looks like he could help her out. And I want to. I want to stop them so bad. I want to get up to those guys and tell them to fuck off. To leave the girl alone with her book, Alice and her imagination. But my body won`t let me. I am frozen. My legs won`t move. I`m just sitting there. What kinda man am I, to not help her out? Just a sad clown on the subway. Nothing more. All I wanna do is cry.

And there it comes….. hmmm... haha. I shake my head. No. please not now. Not in front of a pretty girl and some bullies. This is bad. I`m in deep shit now.  I can`t hold it back. The pain. The urge to cry, to shout out. To scream.

The laughter. Its making its way up my throath again. I want it to stop! At the same time there is something inside of me that acually thinks that this is funny. Those drunk idiots trying to impress a girl by throwing french fries at her and I`m actually hoping to learn something here when they came in. What a joke.

I can tell  by their dirty looks that I already caught attention . The wrong kinda attention. the kind of attention I`ve never asked for. Leave me alone to cry.

“Is something funny, asshole?” his voice is hurting me. I try to tell him that he should ignore my laughter by gestures, but he doesnt get it. I guess the girl is scared of me now which makes it all so much worse.. She passes me by,disappearing, as the guys throws stuff at her “Bitch!”

Hahahahhahahah. I reach the point of pain right now. My throath feels sore from trying to hold it back.  My heart tired from asking myself why I am still laughing.

And just as the pain starts to spread its fire on my insides, the guy comes up to me, starting to sing. I know that song. I know it well.  “Isnt it rich? Are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground. You in mid air. Send in the clowns.”

A chalkboard.  Chairs. That smell. My teacher looking at me like i´m a freak. Fists. And more fists.

With every step he comes closer I get flashbacks from getting bullied at scool. The look in his face. in his eyes. I know that kinda look. He`s a fucking bully. And I`m his victim.  Nothing new I know. But that song…it really gets me. I love Frank Sinatra. His music means so much to me. It hurts that this guy is using it against me like a weapon.

“Isnt it bliss. Dont you appprove? One who keeps tearing around, one who cant move?”

Yeah….thats right……hahahahhaah I CANT move while you are dancing around like an idiot. Hurting me. Do you have any idea how much you are hurting me? Look at my face. I´m hurt. I`m in pain. But people never notice and you keep on dancing. You`re the one who is laughing. Not me. I`m crying while I have to listen to your terrible interpretation of Send in the clowns.  You can`t even carry a fucking tune!!!!

“Send in the cloooooowwwnnnsss” he sings, his eyes focused on me in a disgusting way, while the other one is sitting down next to me. I feel intimitated as he grabs my Carnival wig, exposing my real hair , while I cant stop laughing with pain in my eyes. Not the wig. Please not the wig. I need it. I cant afford another one and I have to find a new job as a clown soon.

“There ought to be CLOOOOOOOWWWWNNSSS…..” the first one looks at me in anger, the second one putting my wig on, laughing right into my face. I can smell the alcohol in his breath. The way he laughs at me. So rude. Just like back in scool. I`m back in scool. This is a nightmare.  Why would they want to hurt me? Don`t they realize I just want to be left alone?  I wish they would go away. Why is no one else around? But I guess I dont deserve someone saving me. I wasnt even able to hold them back from annoying the girl.

“So tell us buddy. Whats so fuckin funny?”

“Nothing!”. Finally my chance to explain myself.

Hahahhahahah “I have….I have a condition” I try to catch my breath. Its so hard to breathe, so hard to talk between the laughs. My hand reaches for the card. I  have to read it out loud, so they know.

Its too late.

“I´ll tell you what you have, asshole” he replies, grabbing my bag. I try to get it back, but the other is fast, holding me back. Grabbing me violently from behind, while the first one tries to attack me. I cant belive this is happenening.

I cant use my arms. This is worse than being handcuffed. I kick the guy in front of me. Kinda shocked I was able to make a move.

“We got a kicker, huh?” he says. “Hold him steady, hold him steady” he screams, right fore he punshes me right in the face ,so hard that the other one lets go of me. The next thing I feel is hitting the ground. Hard.  Lying there with a sharp pain that makes its way althrouh my body. I lie on my right side. My ribs hurt´. My head is pounding, hands  touching the dirty ground, trying to figure out if this is really happening ? I cant move. Freezemode is taking over. . I just cant do anything but take it like a good, little boy.

I`m a kid. Just a kid again. And its dark. And I dont know where I am. Or what day it is.

“Stay down,freak!“

Happy

Freak

Arthur, my name is Arthur.

They kick me in the back.Harder. All three of them now.  

For a moment I am afraid they will kick me to death. Three guys and some clown, paralyzed on the floor? I could definitaly die in here and no one will ever know. I`m not afarid of dying. But this isnt how I want to go. Not on the floor. Not while getting kicked by some assholes. They would step over my dead body and I would remain invisible..I cant let them do this to me. Not again.

Is this my inner voice talking? The one I used to feel lately? Is this the blurry part of my reflection?

I feel my left  arm moving and  remember the gun. The fucking gun Randall gave to me. The weapon that brought me nothing but trouble. Maybe this thing will be good for something eventually. Maybe it will save my life. Well Randall. Sorry for ruin your plan.

Those guys will get what they deserve now.

Bang! Bang!

That was fast. One is already on the ground.

Bang! Bang!

I never thought it could be so easy to defend yourself.

The other one is hitting the subway door.

There is blood but  no time to take a look at it. The third one tries to run away as I fire the gun one more time. I only caught his leg. He`s liping, as I grab my stuff, trying to catch my breath. To get my thoughts straight. The gun in my hand. God. there is a gun in my hand. Still. For a brief moment I seem to lose all orientation. Did i just killed someone? What should I do now? What about the third one? My mind is all over the place.

Breathe, Arthur. Breathe. I have a lump in my throath. Not sure if from the laughing or from the panic.

The sound of the guy banging against the subway door awakens me from my thoughts. The door opens and he tries to get away. But he won`t. I`m a fast runner and he can barely walk. I have to finish this now. Just one more guy. I have to bring this to an end. One more shot. He falls to the ground.

How does it feel there, on the dirty ground? Can you taste the concrete? Because I did.

Can you feel the cold against your aching bones? Well, I did. And it was crawling up its way on my insides.

You killed me first.

Every single one of you bullies.

You killed my hopes and dreams.

My innocence.

This is what you finally get.

Do you see me now?

Can you feel, that I am real?

Because I am.

And so is this gun.

I ran up close to him as he screams, trying to crawl closer to the stairs.

No one heard MY whimpers when I thought I was  almost dying in the alley.

I fire the gun. Bang Bang Bang. Until there are no bullets left. Until he doesnt move anymore.

Freeze mode, huh? How does it feel?

One who keeps tearing around. One who cant move.

And then… silence.

Exept the noise in my ears. I take a short look at the body lying in front of me. He really is dead. Huh. . Kinda surprising what a gun can do.

I press my hand against my ears. That noise.  I hope there will be music again, soon.

I take a look around. No one is there. Time to grab my stuff and get gone.

I ran up the stairs as fast as I can and  feel myself changing with every step I take, with every short breath I become something.

There is a glow inside, as I run into an unknown desitination, my shadow ahead of myself

[ubernoxa]

The Dare: A Guns N’ Roses FanFic

Chapter 23: You’re an Idiot

Taglist @queen-crue @gingerspicetalks

(Masterlist)

It was a long night to say the least, and Duff counted himself lucky that Delilah, despite her inebriated state, was currently talking to Mags trying to calm her down. It was actually more of Mags talking and Delilah just sitting there listening to her saying I’m sorry or you’re fine every once and a while. Duff wondered how much of what Mags was saying Delilah actually understood in his inebriated state. It was still a sweet notion none the less.

Duff sat in the living room bored out of his damn mind trying to pass the time. He wondered if Axl was right, maybe Mags was more trouble than she was worth. It was only a matter of time until he fell asleep on the couch.

He awoke to giggling coming from the kitchen. From the sun, it must have been no later than 1 in the afternoon. It was then he noticed the blanket that was placed on top of him and the pillow that had fallen on the floor. There was a glass of water and a banana to eat on the side table. He smiled at the thought of Delilah.

“Yeah, but I really think I need to get a job,” Delilah sighed as she leaned against the fridge.

“You don’t need a job, you’re fine. Plus you take care of the guys which is technically a full time job,” Mags sweetly replied.

“Maaags, I’m leaching off of everyone. I don’t pay for the food,” Delilah sighed as she pulled something out of the oven. They had spent the past couple hours preparing and cooking chicken.

“Who made the guys’ banner,” Mags crosses her arms absolutely done with Del’s stubbornness.

“Me,” Delilah sighed as she answered Mag’s question knowing all too well that she was only helping Mag’s point.

“Who did Axl ask to make their posters for the next gig?”

Delilah groaned at Mag’s question, refusing to answer it.

“Morning bitches,” Duff turned around to see an unfamiliar face enter Mag’s apartment.

“Your brother’s band made a trash magazine and Heads up blondie is up,” she said before tossing the magazine towards Mags and slamming the doors closed.

“Morning blondie,” Delilah yelled across the apartment before turning her attention towards the magazine.

“How did they get this printed so fast?” Delilah quickly pulled her attention to the magazine.

By now Duff had lazily walked into the kitchen, the promise of food filling his nose.

“Awww that’s a cute photo,” Mags pointed to a picture of Delilah and Duff.

“You look good in my sunglasses,” Duff wrapped his arms around Delilah as he spoke.

“Can I have this magazine when you’re done with it?” Duff asked as they continued to look through the others. He loved the picture of him and Delilah. It was the one where she was sticking her tongue out at him before yesterday’s show. Delilah continued to point out and compliment Duff in every photo she could find of him. It was a classic game of where’s Waldo for the girl, but instead of Waldo she was searching for a blonde giraffe.

“Hey bitch, can I have this?” Mags telled making Delilah jump.

“Yeah, I’m done with it,” a voice from behind a closed door yelled back.

“Yeah, be my guest,” Mags said bringing her attention back to the food that was now cooling down.

“Hey, I left some food on the counter for you,” Mags yelled across the apartment to her roommate.

“Thanks bitch,” her roommate sung before Duff and Delilah followed Mags out of the apartment.

“Bitch?” Duff whispered to Delilah earning a shrug from the girl.

“Thats all they call each other. To be honest I don’t know her actual name,” Delilah tried to hide a giggle as Duff wrapped his arm around Delilah’s waist guiding her out of the apartment.

Izzy took another sip from his bottle as he stared out the window.

“Where’s the food?” Izzy looked over towards Steven who was currently lying on his stomach on the ground.

Why? Who the fuck know? He was probably just hungry.

“You have definitely gotten used to Del, cooking for you every morning.......There’re coming,” Izzy pointed towards Duff, Delilah, and Mags as they walked into the shitty apartment.

“You were waiting for them? I’m glad I’m not the only one who was hungry as hell!” Steven exclaimed now sitting up.

“I’m not hungry, just need to talk to Duff about some stuff,” his words were sharper than he expected.

“Dude chill, is everything alright between you and Duff? I know things were tense with Axl, but if you need help or someone to talk to,” Izzy looked back towards Steven who now had Stef draped all over him.

“Yeah, yeah. We are fine. Just need to have a music talk with him. I have a couple rhythm things I want to talk to him about,” Izzy watched Steven as he spoke. Steven’s puppy dog smile slowly changed to a frown. He was the fucking drummer, why wouldn’t he be involved in rhythm conversations. Was he not good enough for them?

“I want him to try a weird bass line, and if he’s down, we will bring you in. I just don’t want to waste you time,” Izzy purposefully changed his tone as he spoke to the drummer. He didn’t mean to make him feel irrelevant. Izzy didn’t want to be like Axl, not in the slightest.

“Cool, I’m excited to hear it if it works out,” Steven cheerful demeanor returned.

Duff and Izzy locked eyes the moment he walked into the small apartment.

“I brought food!” Mags cheered as she walked into the guy’s apartment. It was a peace offering for what happened last night. Part of her was worried her brother would never talk to her again, but he smiled when she saw him.

“Thank god!” He cheered before grabbing the dish from his sister and bringing it into the kitchen.

“Hey, it’s gotta be warmed,” Delilah said running after Steven to make sure he doesn’t eat it cold. Her and Mags spent way to much time making it for him to eat it cold.

Izzy and Duff remained frozen, eyes locked.

“What?” Duff sent Izzy a confused look as he began to go to Delilah in the kitchen. Was he annoyed with how he spent the night at Delilah? Honestly it was only one night? Or was he more mad that he was hanging around Mags?

“My room, now,” Duff rolled his eyes at Izzy’s tone and followed him to his and Axl’s shared room.

Izzy slammed the door behind Duff as he entered.

“What the hell is your problem? Is this because I spent the night at Del’s? Oh great so you are on the same page as Axl about hanging with Mags. She is my girlfriend’s roommate. Kinda hard to stay away from her, plus Axl is being a big fucking hypocrite,” Duff made sure to keep his voice quiet as he talked to Izzy. The last he wanted was for Delilah, Mags, or Steven to hear him.

“Give me back the damn pills,” Izzy’s voice matched Duff, but he practically snapped as he spoke.

“Why?”

“You wanna ask why? How about why the fuck are you giving Del drugs?” Izzy had to be careful with every word he spoke. He never took Duff for an idiot, hell sometimes he thought that Duff might have had the best wits out of all of them. Right now he was being stupider than Axl.

Duff couldn’t help, but laugh at Izzy. “Seriously, this is what this is all about? It’s about drugs? Izzy you telling someone not to do drugs is the biggest pile of bullshit that I have ever heard!”

“I’m mad that you’re fucking up Delilah’s life even more,” Izzy stood up and got up in Duff’s face as he spoke, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

Duff froze for a second when he heard Izzy say ‘even more’.

“Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!” Duff threw his arms up in the air and walked across the room.

“You think you’re helping her? Those pills are to help with your damn anxiety. I gave them to you so you could be not shit faced when we are in front of a crowd. Not for your girlfriend to get high off of,” Izzy sat back down on his poor excuse of a mattress.

“She was getting overwhelmed. So I gave her one, it’s not like I gave her coke or something worse! She needed the edge taken off. She has been off lately. I just wanted her to be happy,” Izzy was shocked in his band mates change in demeanor. He wasn’t mad, he sounded desperate.

“Her and I went to the bathroom to talk. She was off and she wouldn’t tell me what is wrong. I offered for us to head out and leave but she kept saying everything was fine. It wasn’t, so I gave her a pill. I watched her the entire night and she didn’t have a bad reaction. She was in a good mood again,” Duff was siting on Axl’s bed as he spoke. He rested his elbows on his thighs and buried his face in his hands.

Fuck, was all Izzy could think.

“She probably feeling guilty about some of the people she left behind,” Izzy took out a cigaret and offered one to Duff who quickly took it.

“I think she’s mad at me because we haven’t had sex,” Duff shrugged.

Izzy looked at Duff as if he had three heads. How fucking stupid could he be.

“Dude, you’re a fucking idiot,” Izzy replied, only seconds later he had to dodge a pair of Axl’s dirty underwear.

“Well we got interrupted only a couple hours before the party,” Duff shrugged again carefully watching Izzy incase he decided to throw Axl’s boxers back at him.

“I might be one of the only single guy who lives in this apartment, but she started acting weird after that photographer brought up her full name. Did you know that was her full name?”

Izzy’s tone was more blunt than it should have been, but he didn’t care.

“No, and I hate how you’re always fucking right,” Duff took another drag of his cigaret. Now that he thought about it, Delilah didn’t like how he brought up the fact that her name was a biblical one.

Izzy let a laugh escape him.

“She needs you, not the drugs,” Izzy added.

“How do you know about this shit? Like you said, you’re single,” Duff’s comment earned a laugh from Izzy.

“There are more types of relationships than dating,” Izzy admitted.

“Izzy! Our fucking pictures are in the magazine!” Axl was estatic as he flew the door open.

Axl immediately ran over towards Izzy to show him all the photos.

“These look sick,” Izzy’s eyes scanned the pages of the trash magazine.

“Apparently Del’s roommate saw this while on the strip this afternoon. She bought it and thought we might want to see it. It may be a local magazine, but we still made it. Look!” Axl then pointed at various pictures of the band.

“When you’re done with it, I’m cutting out that pic of Del and I. I’m gonna put it in my case,” Izzy smiles to Duff as he spoke. He hoped that the two would survive the road ahead.

“As long as I get this one,” Axl said pointing to a picture of just himself, laughter quickly erupting from the room.

“Food is ready,” Delilah popped her head into the room and smiled at the guys freaking out about the pictures.

[comicteaparty]

June 27th-July 3rd, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 27th, 2020 to July 3rd, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

If you could do your webcomic for a living, how would that change things in regards to how you work on it (if at all)?

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'd definitely put out more content, cause I could focus on it fully every day of the week.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i would probably start hating it and get burnt out

Deo101 [Millennium]

thats why I would also have to start another comic or do short stories on the side or something, too.

I would probably keep individual comics update schedules the same, I'd just do more comics

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

If it became a part-time job, I don't think anything would change. It kind of feels like that already. If I were in a position where it became a full-time job, I do dread how my relationship with the work would change. I don't think I could ever make as much doing comics as I do in my day job (which isn't crazy, but is comfortable) so I don't know if I could ever 100% transition unless it was really, really worth it It's something I've thought about a lot, for sure.

Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~

In a way, my comic is my full-time job? I don't make very much money with it, but I do put over 40 hours a week into it, and I don't have another job. I am in the very fortunate position of having an SO who is able to support me financially while I try to get my footing with my passion. If I was depending on it for a paycheck though, the main thing that would change is my style would probably get simpler, because there is no way I can make enough pages a week otherwise.

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

It is really the dream to be able to do it! Right now I am unemployed, so I basically treat the comic as my fulltime job, until I find the next short project. I want to be able to work on it full time! In Denmark there are some cool possibilities to get funding from the government and I hope we can get enrolled with some of those programs with our comic.

I would also just love to do small videos, podcasts, animations etc. Small fun projects

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

If I had to do it full time, I think i'd put a LOT more hours into learning how to paint, watching speedpaints, ect. It'd also make a huge difference in my living situation, as the first thing I'd honestly do with a full time at-home job is move to another city with cheaper rent. Another state, maybe! Oh, and I'd do a lot more promo work. posters and animations are fun, but they're not quite worth it with an audience consisting of two my writing partner's friends, and my older brother.

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

the biggest difference, I suppose, would be that I would make a lot more pages, a lot faster. But I like it that it's been pointed that the relationship with work changes when you have to do things full time, so there may be some unpredictable variables there

eliushi [Keyspace]

For a living for me can mean many different things: able to sustain living expenses vs full-time. There’s overlap but one gives financial security meaning an element of creative freedom. The opposite end will probably entail working on other comic projects with the current one as a passion story on the side (no change but probably might not want to draw so much after drawing for work!) If we’re discussing the ability to do the webcomic full time without financial worries then I do believe my output will increase but also I will be dedicating more time to the craft (studying story structures, art directions etc) as well as marketing/joining professional associations/pitching/connections. There are a lot of career options within the comic world and I’d love to explore everything before deciding what’s best for the current story. Ultimately if I were to do this as a living, I’d treat it like any other job: a routine, a strive for improvement, and wellness to recharge. I follow several artists not only for their art but also their schedule/workflow to see what worked for others. It’s very interesting!

In reality though, I might work on smaller scale projects on the side to build up the experience and platform needed to tell the story of Keyspace. As a full time comic creator, I’ll be seriously thinking to covert the seven novel series into a hug comic project. So TL;DR if full time, I make more pages

varethane

I'm in an odd place with my comic because.... well, I sort of had an opportunity to spend all of my time on it for a few months, when I was in between contracts at work. But I found that I wasnt getting it done all that much faster than I did when also working full time

To be fair, it's kind of hard to compare my speed between the three periods, because when I returned to work after a few months away, it was after work from home had started and now I no longer have a commute, so perhaps my ability to squeeze comic pages into my free time has expanded.... but I feel like my attention span caps out around 8 hours on any single task

So I didnt work that much faster. But... I'm also bad at keeping track. I could be wrong.

Yung Skrimp (Carefree)

8 hours is a long attention span

varethane

It's not all in one go, haha.

eliushi [Keyspace]

I definitely have to take breaks between pages, whether or not I have just a few minutes to a chunk of hours

It’s about finding a balance that works for you!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I don't think I could put more hours daily into my comic than I currently do. I have a chronic issue with my drawing shoulder, so my body won't be able to handle that much work. Probably wouldn't be great for my eyes, either. I also don't know if I want my livelihood to depend on how many people like my story. This story is a pair of custom-tailored skinny jeans for my heart (and I have an unusual body type, making it impossible to wear skinny jeans regardless of size). It's a story I want to read. It's meant to fit ME. I don't want to worry about how to also make it fit a bunch of other people.

That being said, some people do find themselves in a situation where they're making something they want to read, and a bunch of other people just happen to like it, too. I think that would be nice

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I physically can‘t draw for more than four, five hours a day, found that out the hard wayy

eliushi [Keyspace]

I most recently developed pain likely due to RSI and have made accommodations since then but yeah it was scary to think that I have a limit in drawing time. Gotta find ways to take care of yourself for the long run

cAPSLOCK (Tailslide)

I think if comics were my only job, I'd feel a lot more anxious about what I create, and would struggle to work consistently. Having another pursuit makes me feel like I have more freedom to experiment, learn, and make what I want to make.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

That's a really good point keii

Would drawing a comic for a living push me to change it to have more mass appeal?

I don't know but it is definitely possible and would be on my mind

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

It is the dream, if I could get a decent monthly wage on my comic, yes I will dedicate more time, work out a better schedule. Get an editor and colourist on board to help make a polished series. Altho I'm still doing this method to build good working habits But I agree with Eli's point, have to assign days for breaks for myself to prevent RSI. At present I have a trained mindset to work on schedules, but I may feel the pressure to produce as fast as I could.(edited)

Desnik

Well, for starters, my comic would actually be released somewhere, so it'd be nice if it made something back for me

Miranda

I’d actually release it. And work on it regularly, instead of sporadically like I have been! I’d definitely be more critical of what I was doing, and probably way more anxious every time I posted.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

You know, when I was only like 6 years old, I was like "I don't want to be an artist when I grow up. I love art too much, and I don't want to burn out and stop enjoying it. So I'm gonna be a singer instead." I have no idea how 6-year-old me knew about burnout, but I definitely remember saying that in response to an adult asking something like "what do you wanna be when you grow up"/ "wow, you're drawing all the time; do you want to become an artist?"

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

The more I do comics the more I think I want to do art stuff as part of my main career. I would love to make sequential art that's for science purposes

sagaholmgaard

Ah that would be the dream! I'd probably feel more secure in my ability to build up a backlog of pages, and be able to make more extra content for the PDF version! And more content for instagram and twitter as well

kayotics

If I were to be able to do comics full time I think it would completely change my current lifestyle. Not even money wise but I’d need to switch up a lot of things. Like make sure I get a good amount of exercise in. I’d probably add in another page a week, but then use the rest of my week to project manage the comic, and promote my work. I’d spend a lot of other time working on creating an online store, because I can’t see the comic working full time without some supplemental merch keeping me afloat. And I’d also use that time to create and work on another comic series I think.

Yung Skrimp (Carefree)

If I were to do comics full time I’d flex on everyone I know

Feather J. Fern

If I was able to do comics full time, be able to pay off debts, substain rent and food, and extra saved for small spluges, I will shove my comic in my family's face(I got a family who doesn't believe in me at all), dancing around screaming "I MADE IT IN LIFE" And then jump out the window because haha this can't be a reality because I don't think I will ever make it in comics. I will still keep my other job of working at a library and drawing on the side becuase I want working job insurance and also I am the type who wants to save all their money if possible(edited)

eliushi [Keyspace]

I was on board until jumping out the window

Yung Skrimp (Carefree)

I wasn't on board until jumping out the window

Now I am

Moral_Gutpunch

If I could do this for a living, I could do so much. I could afford to put my mother ina home, start my dream farm and start a bunch of conservation as well, I could help my husband fund his own sidegig, and I could afford to foster pets like I always wanted.

shadowhood {SunnyxRain}

Personally, if I was able to do it I would be a lot more invested in it. I would also make a lot less excuses as to why I'm not practicing as much; it took a pandemic to happen for me to dry taking it more seriously!

I think overall I might have been more happy.

On the other hand, there's also the danger of burnout, of constantly doing the same thing over and over again for me. I'm the type that needs constant change, so I think I'm more suited to having another occupation be my main profession while comics/art would be a secondary one, where I don't have as much pressure. Furthermore, it's also my backup plan in case anything happens to my main job.

Moral_Gutpunch

^ This. I'd be focusing so much more on comics. And I'd be expanding into more comics and writing more stories. I'd be happier I'm writing more, but more frustrated at writers block

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

Man if I could do it full time, might be able to pull more page updates and actually get deep into doing some long term projects I had planned for years. I won't have much of an issue as long i can also do my zine projects on the side. also would be nice to have some job insurance too along with it lmao. the only danger that could take it away if I get incapacitated for no reason lmao

TaliePlume

If I could do comics as my full time job would be awesome! But all that focus would go only to the comic and nothing else which is bad because I would be neglecting a lot of things and not getting other things done.

AntiBunny

I'd finally be able to tell my whole story and start telling another. It drives me crazy that I have more ideas than I can pursue.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

In terms of my actual production, I'm not sure doing my comic as a living would change much lol. I already spend upwards of 40 hours a week on it, I seriously doubt there's more I could be doing. So, earning a living off my comic would just be... one less thing to worry about.

[littlewheat]

Wally West Headcannons

Because I love him and I can:

- He plays the piano really well. He learned because of his superspeed; since his perception of time also got affected, Alfred suggested to Batman to suggest to Barry that he learns the piano in order to have a tangible outlet for staying in real time. Wally doesnt broadcast it that much since it’s more of a stress reliever/coping mechanism all his own- but it is an occassional party trick he’ll whip out to surprise and impress people. Also, Alfred most definitely went “undercover” to teach little, freshly speedstered Wally the piano (as that was just a few years before he knew Batman’s secret identity)

- Wally ( and Barry ) speak a lot of langauges. I mean, they run around the world a lot and Wally relies heavily on food to sustain his speeds. It makes sense that he would stop for food a lot and as Flashes, the two would like to chat or help out with some local trouble, etc. So every year, Barry and Wally learn a new language together. They started with the “love languages” and quickly broadened their horizons.

-The language thing is actually an unspoken competition for them to speak more languages than Batman (I looked it up- he speaks 24 languages including Kryptonian) So of course the majority of the Justice League wants to help out their favorite speedsters. Superman lets Wally study in his Fortress of Solitude, Wonder Woman teaches them Greek and Latin, Shayera teaches them Thanagarian, M’Gann teaches Wally enough Martian to get by, Green Lantern sends language videos/books from fellow Green Lanterns to help Barry and Wally learn random alien languages that Batman isn’t likely to speak, etc. By age 23 Wally can speak 32 languages with imperfect fluency ( he’s awful with proper accents but has impeccable grammar )

-Bonus: Shayera basically refuses to teach Batman her langauge and her and Barry mock Batman by speaking it together whenever he’s in the room.

-Before Wally got his speed, he had a motor tic where he would blink a couple times and duck his head occassionally with an arm twitching out.That tick transferred over after he got superspeed but now its really fast and looks like a really fast spasm/cold chill. No one mentions it but they all think its incredibly endearing.

- Sometimes Wally slips into “relative time” where everything slows down. This tends to happen most while he’s reading or problem solving or doing homework and things like that- Sometimes he’ll be reading a book at what seems like a normal pace for him... until the pages are burning from the speed he was flipping them at. From an onlooker, Wally will start to blur along the edges and books genuinely appear to spontaneously combust.

-For his birthday one year, Dick Grayson tried to get Wally a really fast kindle that could match Wally’s “relative time” reading speed- after three versions blowing up, Wally and Dick agreed that books might be safer/less expensive anyways.

-People quickly learn that if they loan Wally a book... its likely to come back toasted or in ashes. So... no one really loans him books more than once.

-Wally runs in his sleep :)

-It’s not so much a headcannon as it is pure cannon, but Speedsters can’t get drunk since their metabolism is so fast that their body runs right through it. On Wally’s 21st birthday, GL brings him some alien booze thats like crazy strong and Wally hoofs it (as he is used to doing with no repercussions. ) He’s drunk for, like, three days.

-Also, on a sad note: While Wally’s powers are on the fritz and sort of killing him, He doesn’t tell anyone about it. Dick Grayson figures it out when he plays a drinking game with Wally where he takes normal alchohol shots and actually gets a little tipsy. 

-Also, in regards to the Young Justice universe: I think Wally ( a guy who willingly got struck by lightning and doused in chemicals ) would not give up the hero biz. His powers were killing him and Barry and Artemis benched him- and out of solidarity, Artemis benched herself as well. Wally didn’t want to tell anyone - and as it was already majorly difficult for him and in the understanding that he deserves some control- Artemis and Barry agreed to keep it secret. Basically: Batman, Iris, Barry, Artemis and Hal Jordan know. Hence some frustration when he would jump in to help in “emergencies” - though anyone who knows Wally basically knew he did that with that exact reasoning in mind. That- in an emergency- he wouldn’t want anyone knowing he shouldn’t be helping...

- Wally can’t vibrate through solid objects for a while... He learns how to do so when he gets kidnapped or something and is super desperate. But when he does vibrate through things... they blow up. This is something he honestly can’t control for about as long as he couldn’t initially vibrate through things- but when he does learn to control it, he can still blow things up if he wants to ( eh, some pseudo science about speed and particles and things. )

- Wally is basically always covered in ice and plastic wrap, especially his shins.

- Wally is pretty nervous around storms. He sort of hates lightning. I suppose, if you were struck by it then it makes sense to understand and be wary of it happening again. That doesn’t stop Dick and Arty from making fun of him every time he flinches at a flash of lightning. It’s actually them trying to distract him as they know he’s low-key ready for it hit him (and with his enhanced perception, they know he watches the entire path the lightning takes to be sure it doesn’t arch towards them.)

-Wally loves Shazam and all but because of the lightning thing... the two have a sort of agreement ( enforced by a protective Robin ) where Billy/Shazam avoids switching personas near Wally. Or at least warns him when it happens.  This of course is after the first time Batson shows everyone how his powers work and Wally sprinted to another state leaving a lingering yelp behind.

-Wally carries a lot of static with him. He shocks people sort of a lot. He touches something metal? There’s a jolt. He tries to harness this “bonus power” as something he can do at will (like Barry can throw lightning if he runs fast enough type of thing ) and after some practice, Wally can do what Barry does. But he has terrible aim. And his intent was to not have to run to use it. At best, he just gives a really strong static shock. He definitely uses it to annoy everyone.

-Alternatively, Wally also shocks people when he’s nervous. Many of Artemis and Wally’s first kisses resulted in numb lips for our blonde archer.

-Wally also vibrates when nervous, angry or excited. Take that in as many directions as you’d like. ;)

-Wally is a little bit terrible at swimming. Like he won’t drown. But water isn’t the same as air and super fast water treading has mixed results and his accelerated heart-rate makes holding his breath difficult and also, it’s only fair to have this super world function as ours does where swimmers hate to run and runners hate to swim. Trust me on this. Even outliers have one they’re better at. I would know.

- Wally is sort of the couch-surfer of the hero world. Maybe a small part of it is rooted in him trying to dodge his parents, but he genuinely likes to visit his friends. And as a speedster, he really doesn’t do well with staying in one place. So as the Team and everyone gets older, Wally tends to pop into Roy’s apartment, Dick’s flat, Alfred always has cookies for him at the Mansion, M’Gann and Conner’s house (and so on) entirely un-announced. He brings random “souveniers” along the way and basically everyone has taken to keeping extra foods just in case.

- I honestly think Wally is bisexual but he just genuinely never realized it and doesn’t care much. Like, maybe I’m projecting, but I’m bisexual and I never realized it until my first kiss was a girl and I just rolled with it. Like I didn’t even bat an eye- I was just like, “oh, of course.”- I’d been saying how pretty girls are for years and always thought it was an artist’s eye for beauty in all forms or something but like... bruh, I am bi. But also, its not a huge deal. And I think Wally is the same? Like he doesn’t realize it but also- I think his first kiss was a boy. And he just blinked and rolled with it. I also think that he wasn’t all that good at committing to one person (speedsters got places to be and people to see or something) Like he is far from “getting around”- I think he had like three kisses before Artemis and that she was his first relationship. The first was a guy, the second was maybe some chick he kissed at a school dance, the second was a stranger that Dick dared him to kiss on some random summer day when they were in civvies hanging out together and the fourth was Artemis. I think he’s just so casually bi that no one else even suspects it except those who know his kissing history or whatever.

I could honestly go on forever! If you guys write or draw anything based on this please let me know! I just wanna see my ginger more, tbh.

[fernandothefox]

Consider this.

The Winter Soldier isn’t loyal to Hydra. He doesn’t really know what loyalty is, what it means, what it feels like. And after every wipe (he knows there’s been more then one, he knows) he is brainwahed into being a weapon, (a gun that they shoot and shoot until the clips empty and then they just pop out the clip and insert a new one, same gun new person)but not a loyal one.

And one day he knows, rather this wipe or the next or 5 after, that he will finally be able to shoot the hand that aims him. He knows this as he knows he isn’t loyal fo Hydra.

——

Consider this.

Bucky Barnes was extremely smart, the best sniper in his time, a mathematician in his own right. And so it is right to assume the Winter Soldier is just as smart, if not a little smarter. He is cunning and cold and smart, so he waits. Winter doesn’t remember his days of Before, he knows he has them, because why would they sit him in the Chair, but he doesn’t remember anything concrete. No feelings or anything hazy. Just a vague since of something being there that he can’t reach.

But of all the things Winter is, patience is so far his best quality. So he waits. He stops fighting as hard to get out, and in turn Hydra’s wipes get more and more spread out. So he watched them, the scientists who don’t belive in anesthesia, the soldiers who believe themselves superior, and his Handlers who think they own him.

Winter may not know what loyalty feels like, but he can guess what Freedom tastes like and—

Oh, how he hungers.

——

Consider this.

One day when Winter has watched and watched like a jungle cat in the bushes, when he has learned how to take care of his arm from watching the doctors, and how to blend in from the soldiers, and how to kill from the Handlers, he escapes. He swiftly kills every Hydra agent in the bulding, he takes what he need and what he wants, and he escapes.

Hydra gluttoned themselves on their apparent victory over him and the one’s outside, complacent in the way they handles him.

He hasn’t been wiped in a year.

Winter kills the Hydra base with ease, his “betrayal” a surprise to everyone but him. He walks into the harsh Russian snow, the cold barely bothering him as he is used to the bone deep cyro that he once lived in. He walks into the snow, belly and mind filled with Freedom.

He is free in a sense, and he has no idea what to do.

——

Consider this.

He lives in an abandoned apartment, in a vacant town. Killed off by the snow , wildlife, or both. He is miles away from any Hydra base, and so he is in his apartment thinking. Planning.

What do you do with Freedom? Winter has never had so many choices offered to him before, what should he eat? Wear? Have?

He decides to make it simple and wear black, eat bland, and have whats needed.

Winter is still cold, still slightly brainwashed, and still not loyal.

He is lost in this new Freedom, no purpose. No way in his now Free life.

——

Consider this.

He fixes a broken small tv he found a floor below, hooks it up to the still running electricity, and watched the only channel available.

The news.

He watches and he learns, about the way civilians live, the way they think, morals and the such.

He learns and decides he wants that.

He wants what they have.

Winter doesn’t now this, but this is the first thing he actually wants.

Freedom he needed, like air and water, but morals? No, thats something he wants.

And so he heads out into the small town with it’s small library, and he reads.

And reads.

And reads.

——

Consider this.

Winter isn’t Bucky Barnes, he has half filmy memories from Before, laughter and light and warmth. No faces, no voices, no names.

Winter isn’t Bucky, but he still hunts down Hydra. In his path to find something he wants, he decides that Hydra is bad. As he learned they tortured him, and according to his books on morals, that is bad.

Winter wants to be good. He wants to be good so, so much. He wants to be like Iron Man, Black Window, HawkEye, he wants to be good.

In a childlike manner, Winter copies the teachings of the books to heart, killing is wrong but Hydra is bad, so this is ok.

Winter is still a ghost, still barely known to anyone, even those in Hydra. So taking down base atfter base is easy, when the blueprints to everyone is copied down in your brain.

——

Consider this.

Winter had a well worn morals book that he keeps on him at all times, the cover is slightly bent but every page is still prestine. He reads it over and over and over again, a personal bible that he worships in his own way.

He reads it when he wakes up, he reads it when he stakes out, he reads it while he eats. The Winter Soldier learns what love is, as he loves this book.

He has read every book in the very small library twice over, from fiction to fact he knows what each book is about. He has learned he likes math textbooks, hates drama books, and loves romance. Psychology and Sociology (as few of them as they are) help him learn how to help himself.

He doesn’t now if Before him likes Romace books or math books, he doesn’t now if he is like Before him. For once the thought of that doesn’t make him feel nauseous.

——

Consider this.

Eventually Winter has to leave. He runs out of food and he has stayed in one place long enough. He packs up and heads to another town.

Moscow is very popular. He is homless in a sense. No credentials and never working a “real” job before leaves him homless. He is okay with that though, he has his books (his morals one, two favorite math books, and pretty much every romance book), his suitcase, and the few blue scarves he managed to still.

He finds himself living under a bridge, other homless people flocking to his dangerous arura that keeps the thugs away.

For the first time Winter has found himself friends(?).

——

The homless know that Winter isn’t normal, for one who names their child Winter? And two, noone carries that many knives and guns on theire person. But he’s sweet in his own way, teaching them how to handle a knife without them asking, sharing the game he find with the rest of them.

He’s kind if not a little weird. The quirks he has are bizarrely funny in the face of his monotone being. The morals book a 10 year old kid, brave girl that one, asked him about it.

“I want to be good. Good people have morals. I am learning.”

Was the answer, baffling in it’s simplicity. And the way he rubbed his hands on his scarves when wearing them, “i’ve never felt anything as soft before, i’m not used to cloth like this.”, the romance novles he read in the open “i enjoy the emotions explained in them, they have taught me much in the way of human interaction.” And even the way he only wore blue and black.

Winter was weird, but he was kind, a wild bear who decided to befriend you kind of person.

But all good things must come to an end.

——

Sheild found him, eventually.

Threatening the homless friends (family?) he gained, he packed his bag, left a knife with the brave 12 year old girl who so long ago asked him questions about his books, and left quietly with the Black Widow and her agents.

They handcuffed him, stripped him of every weapon the could find, and had him watched as them went through his belongings.

Black widow commented on everything she found, from scarves to books she had something to say.

“Scarves?” “I was not allowed pleasure items.”

“Math?” “I enjoy it.”

“Romance?” “I do not understand emotions.”

Until finally she reached his favorite book, his morals books.

She looked at it a long time, face black as she flipped through the well loved pages.

“Why do you have this.” Winter looked at her for a moment before looking back at his book. “I do not remember anything from Before, they took many things from me, Hydra did. I want to be good not bad, but i do not understand morals. What are they? And so i learn.”

Black Widow looked at him, searching for something, he knew not. Whatever she found must have satsfied her, as the rest of the plane ride was in silence.

——

Consider this.

Winter is broght before sheild, in a glass box ment to contain monsters, and he is questioned. Winter has learned from his book that lying is bad, and so he doesn’t. Anything they ask is answerd truthfully or not answerd at all.

When the questions are done he makes one simple request “May i have my morals book?”

They give him his morals book adn he sits in silence and re-reads the book over and over again.

In another room the Avengers and Nick Fury watch him in quite disbelief. This quite man was supposed to be the heartless killer Winter Soldier?

They didn’t know what to do as they watched Winter read his book.

——

They let him out with the conditions he became an Avenger, something Winter was unprepared for but accepting of. He wanted to be good.

He met them all, Natasha, Bruce, Tony, Clint, and Steve who was watching him in disbelief.

“Bucky?”

Winter frowned, “Who the hell is Bucky?”

And so the truth came out, as it is wont to do.

——

Consider this.

Winter lives in the Avengers Tower with Tony Stark. Unused to everything, he seeks him out.

Tony who is working on an un-brainwashing tool is too busy to notice Jarvis letting Winter in.

Winter marvels at the future, a new romance novel held in his hand. He sits on the floor besides Tony’s desk, cracks open his book, and gets lost in the words as much as Tony is lost in his schematics.

——

Consider this.

“Why are you here!?”

“I wished to spend time with you, i find your company more enjoyable to the others. You do not mind that i am Winter and not Bucky.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?? I could have brought you a chair or something Freezer-burn, jeez!”

“I am ok sitting here, i do not require a chair. Would you like to hear about my Romance novel, A day in the Woods?”

“-sigh- You know what? Sure Deep Freeze, let me here it”

——

Consider this.

Two men wanting to be good are brought together from unlikely circumstances, different but similar, they become fast friends. Maybe in the future lovers? Maybe not.

Winter is happy, a well work book always on his person as he learns to be good.

——

Ok idk where this came fron lol. You can continue this if you want lol,, just credit me please! But yeah i’m bad at writing dialogue if you havn’t noticed... very chunky... ;P

Anyway i just had a thought “what if Bucky escaped early and reads a morals book?” And yeah here it is haha!!

[egobangin-tonight]

gOD okay im doing a rant about work bc i dont know where else to put it and i need to Screm™

(Its v long srry)

For people who are new, I work in a hospital, i work in an ER, and im a secretary. All i do is answer calls, transfer calls to doctors and nurses, and set up transportation for patients when theyre deemed ready to go upstairs (by the doctor and the nurse) after the admitting department has provided a bed for the patient.

I cannot stress that last bit enough; i set up transportation AFTER all steps have been checked off. I am the LAST person in a chain of events that allows a patient to get upstairs. As a secretary I have no actual power; i am physically unable to interact with any part of this process except for the one assigned to me.

SO

Around 12:20, i get a call from a man asking for a status update on their father. Elderly man whos been waiting for a bed for about 2 hours now. Our ER is insanely crowded compared to most hospitals and today our census was around 90-100 (which is average for us). Having a long wait time is to be expected, especially since the floors patients get admitted to are equally booked and crowded.

So i tell the man the typical response i give to people inquiring about relatives waiting to go upstairs, “the patient is going to be staying overnight but there is currently no bed assigned.”

“so do you know when he’ll be going upstairs??”

“No, from my screen it says that they are still currently waiting for the bed to become available on the floor. So until the space is freed up somehow, they will have to stay in the Emergency Room.”

Now this is usually when they say “can i speak to the nurse taking care of so n so; i just want to make sure theyre okay” or “oh thats okay, i just wanted to make sure they were on the board”. But no, this dude couldnt be okay with either of those choices.

“So you cant tell me when theyre going upstairs?”

“No, I cant. Were not the ones who distribute the beds. Thats Admittings responsibility.” (I literally just gave him is answer 30 seconds ago)

“So who can I talk to to get information on my dad?”

“…do you…do you mean his current status? Because then I can transfer you to his nurse-”

“No i mean information on his bed.”

“Admitting.”

“Can u transfer me there?”

So I transfer him. Poof, gone, goodbye, hope he gets his answers.

IMMEDIATELY, he calls back. “Is this the emergency room?”

“Yes, how can i help you?”

*repeats the entire thing again*

“Sir, i CANT help, admitting is the only department that can give you any answers. If theyre transferring you back to me, its because they cannot help you.”

“But there has to be some kind of waiting list. If hes going upstairs, who determines who gets a bed upstairs first?”

So like, the problem is that he 1) does not work here and 2) does not understand what the actual issue is. Because his dad is most certainly next in line. The problem is that the floors are so filled to the brim with sick patients that theres No Space For Him. Its not us trying to withhold beds, its us having more sick patients than we can handle.

And its even more complicated than that: some people are special needs and require an enclosed room. Some people are in isolation, some people are contagious, some people are a fall risk, some people need security, some people need 24/7 surveillance. Because the floors are so packed, we have Hallway Beds which is basically just the ER but with less patients so its calmer and quieter. Some people dont qualify for the hallway placements or ‘Overflow Beds’ because of the aforementioned needs.

Basically, his dad needed a bed on a floor that was at max capacity and unless there were some extreme last minute changes, there wouldnt be any space.

So i tell him “We CANT speed up the process any faster, we have to wait for people to leave the floor and make space for him.” Its like a car on the curb blocked in by two other cars. Yeah, you want the space that car is in, but until those other two cars are dealt with, youre just gonna have to sit there.

He asks if he could get transferred again so I transferred him.

They IMMEDIATELY transfer him back. So i transfer him again. This time, before they transfer him back to me, they tell us to transfer him to our Charge Nurse. So we do that. And for 5 minutes, hes on the phone w our Charge before she tells us to transfer him back to admitting. So we transfer him AGAIN.

and he calls us !! Either they hung up on him or they ignored the call but he calls back asking for the Charge Nurse. And when she refuses to pick up, he asks for admitting.

This went on for over a fucking hour. An hour of ONE fucking ignorant entitled selfish piece of shit calling and harrassing us to page “The Charge Nurse” “Admitting” “The nurse taking care of my dad” “The DOCTOR taking care of my dad”.

And every single time he called it was for one of these people. And the problem was that we all talked to him!! All of us!! I talked to him! My coworkers did! The charge, admitting, the nurse, the doctor !! They all answered and he still kept calling. And it was getting to a point where we started ignoring his number because he was stopping us from answering OTHER calls.

And he would call from other numbers because we werent answering his call.

Just

AN HOUR AND A HALF of nonstop calling for what ?? To expedite your dad upstairs?? To skip everyone else whos been waiting ahead of him? Why do u think your dad deserves special treatment??

No one understands how our paging system works; i just hold the call and it gets set to 1 of 19 speeddial numbers. And i page that specific speeddial number overhead in the loudspeaker. I cannot physically force anyone to pick up that number; if they hear it and choose to ignore it, i can never MAKE them answer it.

At around 1:30, i notice that his dad has received a bed. Which is good! So when he calls, im still fucking irritated but i tell him “is this about your dad? Bc he now has a bed and-”

“Oh I already know that, i already talked to the charge nurse and admitting and made that happen”

What?

“You made that happen?”

“Yes, im just trying to talk to the doctor for something else”

So I transfer him to the doctor and stare at my coworker bewildered bc…this dude is full of shit lmao Theres no way HE did it, this is not any random fast food joint where you can complain to the manager and get shit done your way. Everything is done in order, no amount of yelling or grovelling is gonna make anything go faster. Because its not that we dont FEEL like admitting people, its that we as an entire unit cannot FIT that many people.

So either 1) the patient left. Either AMA (against medical advice) or discharged. And discharge is more likely because if the patient that left was an elderly or bedconfined patient, then an ambulance couldve picked them up to bring them back to a nursing home or something similar

2) the patient in the room was downgraded to a hallway bed WHILE they were on the floor. Which is believable but AWFUL. Hallway beds are just stretchers in the hall, and you can get an Actual room when one opens up: all it does is allow you to be in a floor with a max of 30 people instead of a floor of up to 150+ people. So to get bumped down is terrible

Or 3) someone who had a hallway bed and was waiting for a regular bed got bumped and skipped in favor of this random dudes dad. Which is EQUALLY bad

But also, I really didnt know what this dude wanted. Because now that hes got the bed i would assume thats finished and he could just go to sleep or something. Once the bed is assigned and the last charting is complete, getting them upstairs is SUPER quick compared to everything else. About 20 mins max to pick up the patient and travel across the hospital to get them upstairs.

But hes apparently been bugging the doctors to complete their charts, harrassing the nurses to do the same; the entire 20 or so minutes i was ignoring him was to essentially get them to finish the chart. But like…??? They have other patients?? And they had to stop what they were doing to answer the calls. And even they stopped responding because they knew that if they heard their name over the loudspeaker, it was because of this dude.

So finally, at like 1:50, I pick up the line. And hes asking for the doctor. And i ask him WHY is he calling the doctor, because theyre not gonna pick up for him, and all i can do is page overhead.

And in the most fake, cali girl kind of voice (bc he DID have a cali girl voice only now it was clearly fake chill) “well, i WAS trying to get the doctor to pick up the phone but maybe you can help me instead.”

“Oh, I’ll definitely try my best.”

“So is there anyway I can get my dad upstairs a bit faster?”

And im like u fucking idiot, you fucking dick wasting all this time, all MY TIME “See you called at 1:30”

“Yes.”

“And i asked, i specifically asked 'was this about your dad? Because he has a bed right now’ and you dismissed me because you felt that the doctor could give you answers, not realizing that if you had just told me 'yes, its about my dad’ i wouldve told you that everything was set up and that we were waiting for transportation to bring them upstairs.”

“Well yes but-”

“So because you thought you were cutting out the middle man, you made me page these nurses and doctors overhead to get NOTHING done. When I couldve just answered you from the getgo.”

And im so irritated and HEATED bc this dude called for 30 minutes just to make his dad skip ahead of everyone else and there was NO way i was letting that happen.

“So is he just waiting for transportation to go upstairs?”

“Yes.”

“Is there anyway I can do that myself?”

“??? No?? Only the transporter can bring them upstairs.”

“Why?”

“???????because its their job????????? Thats what they do???? Bring patients from the ER to the floor.”

“So you mean to tell me that I have to wait? Wait like I had to wait for admitting to get off their asses and get my dad a bed?”

“Thats generally what happens when theres a line of people; you go in order”

So i tell him, “Do you work here? Because unless you are a transporter you are physically unable to bring him upstairs” and hes like “well i should be because no one else in this hospital is doing their job. How is it I managed to get my dad a bed in just three minutes?? How is it that if hes being transported from one department to another, why cant I just wheel him up in a wheelchair.” Im answering his stupid questions as simply as possible but hes just refusing to listen. Like why we need to have transporters transport patients (bc the ID is the only thing that unlocks the door, bc the transporters are the only ones with access to the whole building) or like why its going to take longer because we have limited transporters tonight.

And like..i need to leave…bc i just have no tolerance for people anymore. I cant do it, i get so livid, i wanted to break my phone and smash it into the wall. If this fucker was out on the block i wouldve been throwing fists; he WOULD be catching these fucking hands.

I cant remember word for word what he was saying because it was just him yelling and cursing at me about how this entire building is incompetent, how we told him to wait until his dad got a bed and if he had listened, if he hadnt INTERVENED, he would STILL be waiting, that if he was working there things would be going alot more smoother, shit would be getting done, how theres no reason the place should be understaffed because its the holiday weekend and we should be prepared for this (not realizing that the department literally understaffs us BECAUSE its the holiday weekend and the census is always lower than usual)

Just him assuming no one was doing their job, then complaining for almost TWO HOURS and then assuming that his complaining worked when in reality it was just completely coincidental; that if he really 'got a bed in three minutes’ i wouldve seen a bed appear at 12:40, not 1:30.

And they taking it out on the transporters as if they WANT to be understaffed and stuck transporting patients to 7 different locations across the entire building; patients who need to go to the floors, to sono, to CT, to MRI, and then required to be taken back. To be so understaffed that people delegated to cleaning have to stop and pitch in once in a while to help their coworkers. And he had the NERVE to try and skip past people who were patiently waiting, who were waiting longer than his dad had been waiting.

He asked to speak to the “Head of transportation ” and i wanted to laugh so hard, i could not stop myself from mocking him “oh the HEAD of transportation! Let me transfer you.” Straight to the fucking operator lmao kiss my ass have fun trying to find that person at exactly 2:03am on a monday morning and a HOLIDAY no less

The dad eventually went upstairs. He waited like everyone else in this ER and from this point on, if he wants to cause a scene, im sending the son Straight to the floor his dad is sleeping on so he can harass them because i am done™

[selenas]

So I’m only making this post because in light of everything thats been happening lately, like every other time, Islam is to blame. Let me make it clear. The basis of Islam that it was founded on is love, peace and respect. Over the years I have watched people on this website take verses from the Quran either incomplete or full verses without giving any context to fit their islamaphobic propaganda. Let me tell you exactly what Islam is about and why islam is not to blame for terrorism - people are. The Quran was sent down 1400 years ago but it was revealed to our Prophet Muhammad (pbu) before that in verses throughout his lifetime. This means that each verse is sent down during a different period in his life when the prophet was dealing with different things, for example during the Battle of Badr, or during times the Prophet and his followers were persecuted for following Islam. The Quran is not a instruction booklet for Muslims, if anything it is a guide to help us but it cannot be taken in a literal sense because of the amount of intense history behind it which is why some versus don’t even apply to the current society we live in - because it was about events or wars that happened over 1400 years ago. That being said I’m going to list a large list of versus from the Quran you’ve probably heard but misunderstood and didn’t care to look into it, or if you did, did so with ignorance, as well as some verses that show the true meaning of islam and that Islam is legit against everything extremists do. 

Quran 8:12— “Remember thy Lord inspired the angels (with the message): “I am with you: give firmness to the Believers: I will instil terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers: smite ye above their necks and smite all their finger-tips off them.” This verse is about the Battle of Badr where pagans in Mecca travelled hundreds of miles with an army of a little less than a thousand to kill muslims with an army of less than 300. The Prophet and his followers had been persecuted for years by the very same people (this includes torture, verbal abuse, attempted murders and other forms of oppression). (i only linked wiki because i know you won’t want to read anything from a islam website but thats where the majority of the info on Battle of Badr is so either read the wiki page or grab a textbook on the Battle of Badr. I have this one from Indigo). When the Prophet and his followers fled Mecca to Madinah after being driven off their land they were followed by the tribes to Madinah and God sent down that verse giving the Prophet(pbu) permission to defend themselves (they had been told not to before.) However... 

Quran 8:61 - “But if the enemy incline towards peace, you (also) incline towards peace, and trust in God: for He is One that hears and knows (all things).” this is a verse in the same chapter. The Muslims were told to defend themselves but if their enemy were to incline towards peace then they must do so as well. We see a verse similiar to this again in Quran 2:190 - “Fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah does love not transgressors.” Like I said, this verse was revealed when they were given permission to fight and defend themselves but enemy stops then we stop. (There were many conditions that came with this such as they couldn't attack first, kids and women cannot be harmed, not can they hurt a tree or anything else that was living except the people they were meant to go to war with). In present time this is still followed by armys in Muslim countries. Once again, the Quran guides us and some things can be applied to current day while others cannot.

Quran 2:191 - “And slay them wherever you find them and expel them from wherever they have expelled you, and fitnah [Persecution] is worse than killing. And do not fight them at al-Masjid al- Haram until they fight you there. But if they fight you, then kill them. Such is the recompense of the disbelievers.” Ahh a public favorite. You’ll usually just hear this as “kill them wherever you find them” because islamaphobes like to feed you with lies and deception. This verse was sent down when the Quraysh were initiating war with the small muslim community. This is a verse talking about the first war between the tribes of Mecca and the Muslims. Muslims were not given permission to fight until the verse in the #2 was revealed. this is a WAR verse revealed over 1400 years ago. It gave the Prophet and his followers the right to fight against their oppressors. Keep in mind when these verses were revealed there were also specific guidelines, like the Muslims could not hold any enemies captive after winning any war, they could not target women or children etc (i listed a few more in the other ones)

Quran 2:192 - “And if they cease, then indeed, God is Forgiving and Merciful.” Self-explanatory but once again shows what Islam is actually about.

Quran 2:193 - “Fight them until there is no [more] fitnah [Persecution] and [until] worship is for God. But if they cease, Let there be no hostility except to those who practice oppression” Like i said these last few versus are from the same chapter one following another and are about the persecution and oppression of the muslim community over 1400 years ago during the life of the prophet. In some ways the Quran tells a story if you will. The importance of this later verse is that peace is the ultimate goal. Islam insists that its adherents work and incline toward peace.  

Before engaging in battle, the Prophet Muhammad (pbu) instructed his soldiers: 1. “Do not kill any child, any woman, or any elder or sick person.” (Sunan Abu Dawud) 2. “Do not practice treachery or mutilation.(Al-Muwatta) 3. Do not uproot or burn palms or cut down fruitful trees.(Al-Muwatta) 4. Do not slaughter a sheep or a cow or a camel, except for food.” (Al-Muwatta) 5. “If one fights his brother, [he must] avoid striking the face, for God created him in the image of Adam.” (Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim) 6. “Do not kill the monks in monasteries, and do not kill those sitting in places of worship. (Musnad Ahmad Ibn Hanbal) 7. “Do not destroy the villages and towns, do not spoil the cultivated fields and gardens, and do not slaughter the cattle.” (Sahih Bukhari; Sunan Abu Dawud) 8. “Do not wish for an encounter with the enemy; pray to God to grant you security; but when you [are forced to] encounter them, exercise patience.” (Sahih Muslim) 9. “No one may punish with fire except the Lord of Fire.” (Sunan Abu Dawud). 10. “Accustom yourselves to do good if people do good, and to not do wrong even if they commit evil.” (Al-Tirmidhi)

Quran 5:32 - “Because of this did We ordain unto the children of Israel that if anyone slays a human being-unless it be [in punishment] for murder or for spreading corruption on earth-it shall be as though he had slain all mankind; whereas, if anyone saves a life, it shall be as though he had saved the lives of all mankind.” killing one man is like killing all mankind. terrorism =/= Islam. 

Quran 6:151 - “Take not life, which Allah hath made sacred, except by way of justice and law: thus does He command you, that ye may learn wisdom.” This mentions that murder is not prohibited. 

 Quran 2:256 - “There is no compulsion in religion. The right way has become distinct from error.” If people believe Islam forces people to join and that what extremists are doing is Islamic then this verse says otherwise. 

Quran 22:39-40 - “Permission (to fight) is given to those on whom war is made, because they are oppressed. And Allah is able to assist them — those who are driven from their homes without a just cause except that they say: Our Lord is Allah.” Says the same thing as the other versus but it was sent down during a different time in the Prophet’s life. 

Quran 60:8 - 60:9 - “Allah does not forbid you from those [ unbelievers] who do not fight you because of religion and do not expel you from your homes - from being righteous toward them and acting justly toward them. Indeed, Allah loves those who act justly.” We are suppose to treat others - specifically non-muslims including Christians & Jews- justly. 

Quran 66:9 – “O Prophet! strive hard against the unbelievers and the hypocrites and be unyielding to them; and their abode is hell, and evil is the destination.” The above passage says nothing about killing, it just says ‘strive against’. Strive can simply be living one’s own life as a firm believer in Islam and not giving into non-believers or in our current day case - islamaphobes. But anyway, these verses are also believed to be historical in context and are about the Battles of Mu’tah and Tabûk when the Byzantine Empire was instigating war against the Muslim community (reminder that during the Prophet’s life very few people followed Islam and others persecuted him and his followers.)

Quran 2:62 - “Surely those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the Christians, and the Sabians, whoever believes in Allah and the Last day and does good, they shall have their reward from their Lord, and there is no fear for them, nor shall they grieve.” Putting this in because I’ve seen countless people think/say Islam hates Christians/Jews and says they’ll go to hell when its quite the opposite. The prophet also once said  “Whoever hurts a Non-Muslim citizen of a Muslim state hurts me, and he who hurts me annoys God.” (Sahi Bukhari) 

Quran 18:29 - “Respect his freedom of choice to be a disbeliever - as this is a right bestowed upon humanity by God” (Quran 18:29)”

Quran 33:35 - “For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for true men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward." I put this verse in because people think Islam oppresses women or women are deemed less than men when that is merely a social or cultural issue - not religious. Throughout the Quran and specifically in this verse, God says men and women because in Islam a man is no greater than a women and a women is no greater than a man. 

Quran 4:19 - “O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” A verse totally abolishing mistreat of women. This verse was also brought down during the time people used to bury their female children alive, and treat women as mere objects of sexual pleasure, possessing no rights or position whatsoever, so really at the time this verse was revealed these teachings of the Noble Quran were revolutionary. 

Quran 2:187 - “They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them.” Equality guys. 

The Prophet Muhammad said: “Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother” (Ahmad, Nasai). Heaven lies under a MOTHERS feet. 

Some other verses/hadith’s/points i want to make I find important

Quran 5:8 - “And do not let the hatred of a people prevent you from being just. Be just; that is nearer to righteousness.”

Quran 46:15 - “We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth"

“A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father.” (Bukhari, Muslim). A mother comes 3 times before a father. 

Quran 5:48 - “We have appointed a law and a practice for every one of you. Had God willed, He would have made you a single community, but He wanted to test you regarding what has come to you. So compete with each other in doing good. Every one of you will return to God and He will inform you regarding the things about which you differed.”

So no, the Islam represented by extremists is not Islam. Frankly, even saying they’re “muslim” is disgusting because nothing about them is. Islam is found of love and peace and they go completely against that. Good people and Bad people exist within every race, religion, social construct etc. This isn’t a “muslim” problem its a people problem. Islam is a religion of peace and It always has been. Now if you think its not okay to fight against your oppressors then thats on you. The Quran tells a very detailed story of the life of the Prophet and you cannot cherry pick versus and try to understand it without understanding why and when the verse was brought down. It cannot be taken in its very literal context. Whether you read a verse but it was only half of it or read a war verse and took it in its literal sense, I hope this gives you some insight on what Islam is really about and urges you to learn more. If anyone needs any sources for the battles I suggest historical textbook if you want something unbiased so you can see how the events played out. Islam is, and has always been a peaceful religion. If it weren’t, ISIS and other terrorist groups would have existed 1400 years ago. 

[unicyclehippo]

can you write a lil bit, like head canons, or whatever form takes your fancy, on autistic kara?

eliza doesn’t know what she’s facing here, other than a small alien girl who clings to her cousins hand.

her cousin, who didn’t even stay to help her settle in.

he had called ahead, asked them to take her and as soon as the girl - kara, the only word she responds to - had taken a step toward them, toward the house, he had flown away.

eliza understands, in a way. but her understanding is only a very small part of her, and the rest is so angry on kara’s behalf. because kara never gets angry. she just stares around with wide, solemn eyes and accepts whatever happens next. sit here, stay there, move here, don’t do that…she just nods and follows the directions and eliza is afraid to push because this girl witnessed something that eliza cannot fathom. but something clark said had stuck and eliza can’t help but want to figure it out.

“it wasn’t supposed to be this hard,” he had said over the phone. he sounded exhausted, upset yes but so exhausted. “it wasn’t - she’s not like me. it wasn’t like this for me, i don’t know how to help her. i don’t know how to reach her, make her understand. please, will you help me?”

help, at some point, evolved into “take her” and then she’s sitting at the end of the bed they squeezed into alex’s room, hands folded on her lap, bag at her feet.

he hadn’t even come inside.

she flinches every time someone takes a step and when jeremiah pushes open the window, the hinges screech and kara is gone. she’s so fast that eliza stands dazed until she thinks to look for her and they find her on the opposite end of the house, pressed into the corner, hands balled over her ears.

“ah jeez,” jeremiah sighs, and eliza leans back into his warm side, stares across at her. “what are we going to do?”

“whatever we can.”

he nods after a moment, wraps an arm around her waist. “introductions first?”

kara has eased her hands down and she stares at eliza’s feet when she steps forward. when eliza crouches in front of her, she stares at her own feet.

“kara.” she rocks back on her feet. eliza quietens her voice as much as she can. “my name is eliza. do you understand?” she waits, and waits, and when the floorboards creak under her husbands feet, she shakes her head and he doesn’t say whatever he was going to say. they wait a little more and then, finally, kara meets her eyes.

“eliza. jeremiah.”

her voice is thin. a whisper, but if a whisper had less heft.

eliza counts the introductions as a victory, again when kara says “alex” without prompting when she walks into the room, and they celebrate with cookies because eliza doesn’t know any thirteen year olds who don’t like chocolate chip cookies.

//

“alex,” kara says when she steps into the room, and alex rolls her eyes.

“still haven’t broken that habit, mom,” she calls out, and eliza looks up from the dining table, pages strewn across it, and nods. “are we going to work on that or what? time to deprogram the bug.”

“while i am very pleased to see you’re learning something useful at school, kara is not a robot, alex, so be nice.”

“she’s kind of a robot. follows specific orders, organises stuff, talks weird.”

“if you can’t be helpful, alexandra, you can go to your room.”

alex falls silent. eliza returns to her work. jeremiah steps into the room and kara says “jeremiah”, and eliza looks up to meet her daughters rather insistent ‘i told you so’ eyes.

//

“i don’t know what to tell you, dear,” martha says. there’s a cow mooing in the background. eliza stares out at the beach and reminds herself, even when one daughter can crumble the beach rocks to sand with a too strong sneeze and the other has taken to moods and glowers, that things could be worse and she could live on a farm. with those plastic boots. and cows. “clark was never like that. oh that poor dear, i can’t imagine…”

“but his powers, he didn’t get them until he was older,”

“he was always strong and remarkably resilient. always good for a new mother,” martha chuckles. “but around, oh, ten? he lifted the tractor up for his pop and things haven’t been the same since.”

“do you think she’s having trouble because it’s so new?”

“it’s possible. she did lose her family too, dear,” martha reminds her. “trauma like that does funny things to a person. but clark took to it all so easily, ‘cept for a few broken windows and scares. all this with your kara…i’m sorry it’s so hard, what with dealing with her little quirks,”

“sorry, martha,” eliza cuts her off. “i have to go - alex is using kara to weed the garden, this can’t end well.”

it doesn’t end as badly as she feared, but one of the bigger trees has been uprooted too, alex is grounded, and kara…kara doesn’t look upset at the idea that she did something wrong. she looks terrified. and she disappears, slowly, into the basement and curls her hands around her ears and it’s a very long time before she even seems to hear eliza, let alone listen to her.

she thinks about martha’s words when her knees click and the basement floor turns freezing and promptly ignores them. it’s no harder raising kara than it is with alex, just different. and she doesn’t want to speak ill about the other woman, clark is a good man, but he’s also a man who abandons his little cousin at a strangers house.

eliza wraps her arm around kara’s shoulder when she is allowed to, and presses a kiss to her head.

//

“they called it uwe wegh,” kara says softly to eliza one afternoon. alex is at a summer school - it involves a lot of dissection and playing with chemicals and alex comes home smelling of sanitizer even to eliza’s nose. she hopes it’s not why alex does it, but kara keeps her distance from alex when she smells so strongly.

“what was that, dear? pass me the bread tin.”

kara’s hand hovers over the baking tin and, when eliza nods, she passes it over.

“uwe wegh.” she looks very serious and the words are clearly kryptonian so eliza lays her spoon down on the counter and turns to face her. kara sucks in a breath. “it means…to have a brain that,” she frowns down at the recipe book. slides her finger down the page, runs her thumb over the side so the paper ruffles. “is a different brain.” the worried wrinkle appears and she looks over at eliza. “thats not right. it was more…doctor sounding.”

“like a diagnosis?”

“it’s not a disease.”

“i didn’t say that, sweetheart,” eliza soothes. not that kara sounded angry, she never really does. just reserved. “did you, have that?” she asks, a little awkwardly.

kara nods. “they followed me around for two days and then told my father. they asked a lot of questions.”

“like what?”

she shrugs. “what i like to eat. and wear, and listen. what i like to do. my favourite toys to play with.”

“what did you tell them?”

she shrugs again. something she learned from alex. eliza doesn’t mind: she would stand out more if she didn’t shrug or roll her eyes. “i was little. i don’t remember.”

“okay.” eliza picks up her spoon. “thank you for telling me, sweetheart.”

kara nods.

when eliza scoops the batter into the tin, she gives kara the bowl and the spoon to lick.

“i thought you should know. because i’m not like clark. and it’s harder with my quirks,” she says, which means she definitely heard the things eliza didn’t want her hearing. “and it’s not,” she touches her ear and then her glasses nervously, doesn’t even try to say anything about her powers. “it’s just me. it’s my brain.”

“thank you for telling me,” eliza says again. “would you lay the table?”

//

they have to have a proper discussion about it but it had to wait for later because what kara told her finally clicked a few pieces into place and eliza does three days worth of research before she carries a large book to the dining room table and calls kara softly to join her.

she scoots their chairs close together, wraps an arm around her shoulder.

“autism, the autism spectrum,” she says, and kara leans forward to read. when she’s done, she’s stiff and quiet, and then she leans into eliza’s side and looks up at her when eliza brushes the hair out of her face. “i think this fits, sweetie. what do you think?”

kara shrugs.

“it doesn’t have to mean anything, but it can’t hurt to know a little more. and it’s given me some ideas about how we can work on making you more comfortable.”

“i’m fine, eliza,”

“alright.” she hands over the notes she made, and kara folds the pages three times and hides them in between her hands. “you read them for me, okay? and we can talk about it whenever you like. now it’s your turn to pick dinner,”

“noodles,” kara says immediately, unsurprisingly. it’s the same dinner she’d picked four times in a row and eliza nods. same foods. she’d read that somewhere.

“noodles it is.”

[ramseycrickets]

Run Your Own Service By Reselling Wholesale Child Garments On EBay

In order to speak about love and still construct a socially appropriate metropolitan identity, artists tend to execute one of the 5 successful love narrative forms. No one recognizes situations like that, people cant bargain with it, so they 'll speak about it permanently. The woman trying to sell me their latest phone package referred to a television advert. She maintained me chatting for about 10 mins during which time she referred me to this specific TV advert an additional 4 times, and also each time I ensured her I had actually not seen it since I do not view television. Weaving can be gotten during the adverts and operated at for 5 or 10 minutes at a time. New threads as well as elegant pattern layouts make knitting fun and also quickly, and I can knit also if I am seeing TV, albeit a rare occurence for me personally! With the web, even if you live in a neighborhood that is little, you aren't restricted to your area, and also can find people not simply around the UK, however across the world too! After that embellish with child pictures and such, then take it to your local copy store, like Kinkos, and also have them publish the page on pastel tinted paper. Often weve occurred upon regional street fairs or windsurfing tournaments or a version train museum. Weve chatted about endometriosis, that which can be a cyst. So, you can have bleeding with a cyst but many of the moment those are rare scenarios. The endometriomas, if they linger, and theres constant bleeding in the abdomen and the ovary that can trigger bonds. Any kind of hemorrhaging cyst can be a trouble. A pregnancy with a corpus luteum, the 2nd sort of practical cyst goes on to create as the infant is growing. A lot of these, the larger blood supplies, the bigger blood vessels on cysts are usually the corpus luteum cyst. The majority of ovary cysts in and also of themselves are not going to be triggering an issue. But, the vital thing here, is that cysts themselves, in and also of themselves are not going to be a trouble or life threatening problem. The nature of the celebration is possibly going to have a tendency towards the womanly side; if the organizers of the celebration have a provision for this, then welcoming males would certainly be great. Without a doubt, there are countless males and females who are making great cash using the web service route. In this song, the poet makes use of the perceptual narrative to acknowledge that some males "dont be comin right ", but that he has a different perception of women than these other men. Intended to help with the discomfort, supposed to aid me keep In this track, Master utilizes the different story to share his sight of what love need to be. It is very important for the clothing to be completely dry before they are done away with or worn by a kid, as well as hanging the garments on childrens garments wall mounts will aid maintain their form. However, aspartame was enabled on 1981 for completely dry goods and 1983 for carbonated beverages.

free baby stuff expecting mother

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[cannotollie]

Day 0 to 9 How I Survived My TONSILLECTOMY

🧸Welcome back to my tumblr page! 🧸

I’m here to share you some of my latest nightmare, cruelity, disgusting experience about my tonsillectomy surgery !

If you have no idea what is tonsillectomy, shortly, it’s a surgery to remove your tonsils. And what are tonsils? It’s the twin egg that stays in the middle of your throat to prevent your from infection but if you’re unlucky they turn into a self destructing machine to gets your sick every. Single. Month. And YES I HAVE SORE THROAT EACH MONTH 😒 thanks to my overly inflamed tonsils. Moving on... I’ll just leave a link about tonsillectomy

These past week has been the hardest week of my life. Not being able to eat solid food, lost 12 lbs in 5 days, midnight suffering and many more. I have written you my day by day experience, I hope you enjoy reading it 😊

Day 0

I was told to fast at least 6 hours before the surgery this means I wasn’t able to eat or drink anything before the surgery

Day 1

operation at 9am, they changed my clothes even my underwear and injected me with anesthetic medicine ( I heard that it was morphine ), I coughed for several times until I finally passed out

after 2/3 hours I woke up in my nursing room, I was still super unconscious and right after the anesthetic had clearly gone they gave me cold water ( no popsicle they said they ran out of it 😡 )

My nose bled because they put tubes inside me to help me breath

tried to get up and grab some water but I felt extra nauseous, I threw up that day for like 7 times. At first I was so afraid to throw up because I’ll definitely throw up blood, but then it gets so much better after you get them out, they said that it was because of the anesthesia

they injected some pain killers every several hours so I didn’t feel that much pain

didn’t eat anything on day 1 because I was feeling super nauseous

mom bought some ice cream but dairy products produced so much mucus on my throat so I stopped eating dairy. I can only drink cold water and also ice packs was my best friend

Day 2

they gave me some porridge with chicken broth, but I was still not able to eat anything. I probably only ate 2 spoon of porridge that day. Day two I didn’t feel that much pain (but there were definitely pain )probably because they still gave me pain killers intravenously every 4 hours

In the afternoon my ENT doctor came to visit me and told me that I was ready to go home, great!!! But this was where all the pain started 🤣😂

The doctors gave me some antibiotics, and some pain killers, but I have to switch the pain killer with some OTC products that is made for kids called ‘rhelafen’ because the one that the doctor gave me made my stomach hurts like hell

Day two the pain was increasing continuously and I was still not able to eat anything. My mom bought me non dairy popsicle and that helped me so much, also I never stop the ice pack because that really helps to numb the pain

I can talk but the more you talk the more you have to swallow your saliva so I suggest you not to talk too often. The more you have to swallow your saliva the more it hurts

I woke up at 2 am in the morning because of the sharp pain on my throat, I even cried that night, I really can’t help it but I didn’t take any pain meds I just put ice packs on my neck and tried to suck popsicles as much as I could

Day 3

was hell, I woke up with sharp pain on my throat.

Day three was like the very downhill of this recovery process

I started to take pain meds more often (every 4 hours) the pain lasted throughout the day, I also have light fever because of the infection

Swallowing and talking was even harder than day 1 and 2

I didn’t do anything on day three because I feel so hopeless but I was able to eat some scrambled egg because I was super super super hungry

Day three I have thick blood coming out of my nose

Night time was the hardest, It’s even harder to fall asleep, and again I woke up in the middle of the night to put ice packs on my neck because my throat hurts so damn much, it felt like glass coming out of your throat.

Day 4

The pain was crazy when I woke up in the morning I forced myself to eat some porridge and took my pain meds

But it gets so much better during the day, I felt less pain, I can do a lot of stuff I can even made a banana smoothie to brought in some vitamin

I can see the scabs (the white thing that covers the open flesh around the tonsils we’re getting thicker

I felt pain when I wanted to go to sleep but then it was not as much as the midnight pain. I woke up suffering (it’s always worst during this hours I have no idea why)

I took my pain meds again, because I really couldn’t sleep because of the pain

Day 5

day 5 was pretty much the copy of day 4

Burning sensation when I woke up in the morning, sharp pain when I woke up in the middle of the night

And less pain during the day

Woke up in the middle of the night to put ice packs and took my pain meds

My nose were still bleeding and the weirdest thing is that everything I tried to drink something it got to my nose, tasted to weird... 🤮

Day 6

The pain felt exactly the same like day 4 and 5

Everything goes uphill during the day, I even tried to swallow some super soft chicken breast my mom brought

Wake up at 3 in the morning the pain was crazy, so I woke up and took my pain killer but I stopped compressing ice packs because it gets way too cold, pain killers helped me that night

Day 7

I woke up today feeling frustrated because my throat is burning, I think I took too many pain killers that I was getting resistant to it :( I really couldn’t swallow barely anything that morning so I took my pain killer before having my meals

I took a look at my tonsils and i saw some of the scabs were falling off. Maybe that’s why I have sharp pain just by drinking water and also the metal taste caused by the blood

Everything was fine during the day, I ate more today, drank some carrot juice, I stopped taking pain killers in the afternoon because I had too much of it and it’s not good I already had 4 bottles of OTC pain killer

However, I slept better that night, I didn’t even wake up to take my pain meds

Day 8

the morning was less horrible than day 7, but I still have to take my pain meds before I can actually swallow anything

Today I went to see my ENT doctor Yeay! She was surprised because I didn’t bleed and my breath wasn’t stink

I got soo confident after seeing my doctor because she told me that I’m actually doing great compared to her other patients and that the pain I was dealing with was normal

She also told me that after my first weekly check up everything is going uphill, I really hope so

I still take my pain meds before going to bed, but never in the middle of the night anymore since that day

Day 9

she was right! Everything is going uphill. I can even eat some rice and noodle but it still felt pretty rough

I didn’t take any pain meds unless I feel pain swallowing something

I slept well that night with only 1/10 pain

THATS ALLL~

Right now I’m on my 10th day, and everything is going waay waaay waaay better than I expected. Still not able to eat solid or spicy food but I gained some weight and feeling a lot better than before. The doctor told me that the full recovery takes up to 1 whole month.

For anyone that’s asking does my voice change? I guess I can say yes just a little bit, even my boyfriend told me that I sound different, heavier, I guess it’ll fix itself after I’m fully recovered

🧸TONSILLECTOMY RECOVERY TIPS 🧸

1. Stick to your medicine (I took antibiotics, pain meds and dexametashone)

2. BRUSH YOUR TEETH! it helps you to get rid of the bacterias, not just brush your teeth, do daily hygiene as much as you could

3. Less talking and don’t force yourself to eat solid food to prevent bleeding

4. Use ice packs and buy tons of popsicle

5. Drink some juice, don’t starve... eating helps you to heal faster

6. Take a 10 days rest, just stay inside the house and focus on your healing

7. Take pain meds in the morning before having your meals to help you swallow

8. STAY HYDRATED

Thank you for reading this, if you like my writing please leave some notes. If you have anything to ask text me on my social media account 💝ifafathika💝

If you like to play mobile games add my on pubgm : Prynncess

Bye

[arthurflecksgirl]

Mysterious stranger /Arthur being stalked by you

This was a request by someone on Twitter :)

Arthur is being stalked by a pretty girl /YOU

I decited to write from Arthurs view and the girls view.

So it switches.

Arthur and reader

Romance

Warnings: Nothing really, mentions of mental illness,

ENJOY :) <3

ARTHUR I just woke up all sweaty in in the middle of the night one more time. My insomnia was getting bad again. I felt like it has been getting worse since mum was at the hospital. I was worried about her condition. I even forgot to take my meds yesterday, which was bad. The pills helped me to find some rest at night. Without them my mind was racing, keeping me awake. Driving me INSANE. I usually started to write in my journal when I couldnt sleep but without my medication there were just black scribbles all over the diary when I looked at the pages. The last time I was off my meds I wrote the whole night through and when I looked in my journal the next morning,there was nothing but blank pages. Nothing. So, there is a reason I shouldnt forget to take them. But too many thoughts ran through my head yesterday, I just didnt thought of anything else. First of all I thought about Penny and if I was the reason she ended up at the hospital. I felt like I am a burden to her. She always told me I was brought into the world to spread joy and laughter. But she doesnt even think i`m funny. Imagin what a disappointment I must be to her.I was born for a reason and I couldnt even fullfill my destiny. This shit really kept me awake. And some other thing... A week ago I just came home from my therapist. And when I was waiting on the tram station, there was this girl in the middle of the crowd. She just kept on staring at me like... I don`t know. She just did. And it kinda scared me.I wasnt  used to peope staring at me like that. Usually I was the one observing things around me. Watching people. I always tried to observe. I need it for my jokes. The best jokes are inspired by real life actions. Stuff you see happening on the streets. I also watched people closely to understand what they are laughing about and how they react to jokes. Sometimes I sat on a table at Pogos and made little notes about what I think is important. I really wanted people to like me. I wanted be a light for them. Gotham needs some light. I wanted to be listened to and I wanted to be seen. I`ve got a lot to say but I`ve never talked to others cuz I didn`t knew how to start a conversation.  So I watched and learned how others managed to do that. I realized that my timing is a bit off when I laughed at others jokes. I`m wasn`t sure why. I needed to find out. Anyway, I wasn`t used to someone staring at me. I always wished someone did and when I saw that girl I should have been happy that she saw me but I didnt knew what to do about it. I wasnt sure WHY she was looking at me the way she did. If it was for good or for bad reasons. And I guess thats what made me insecure about  the whole situation. As soon as I got in the tram I kinda forgot about it but two days later I saw her again. I was standing in the pharmacy and was just about to pay, when I saw her standing outside the window. She was beautiful. There is no doubt it was the same girl. She was looking at me again.  I payed and when I turned around she was gone. For a moment there I was scared it might be another episode of hallucinations. That would be really bad. But it could be. I mean... why should a pretty face like her standing there, staring at me TWICE? I`m afraid this isnt really happening. Dr Kane said I should watch out for more hallucinations, especially about girls. So I will.

YOU This city made me sick. It`s beent two weeks since I moved here and already hated it here. It was grey, it smelled and people were rude. I didnt wanted to become one of the peole here. It seemed like it was a bad desicion to move here in the first place, but I couldnt afford to pay rent anymore, so I ended up here, in this really bad neighborhood.  I felt like I screwed up my life. Sleep was something I barely remembered. Every night I was lying awake, afraid of someone might brak into my apartment. Like I said... bad neighborhood.You couldnt trust anyone here. A week ago I got so nerveous while trying to sleep that I got up, made some tea and watched out the window. Even at night people walked down the streets, mostly homeless guys. It was one ugly, rainy, cold night. I sipped on my tea and watched the raindrops falling on the dark pavement. Like the whole city was crying out loud. I burned my tongue on the hot cup . I swear I saw someone standing in the window across the street. But it was no one there. Oh great, I thought. Two weeks here in Anderson avenue and you already start to see shadowns at night. But then I saw it again. It wasnt a shadow. It was a man standing in his kitchen, smoking a cigarette. Oh, just a neighbor, no shadows. Good. I realized that I could see most of the kitchen, his curtains were kinda see though. He turned around so I could see his profile. He had almost shoulder long, bown hair, slightly curly, a beautiful jawline and high cheekbones. I could tell from the distance that he was indeed very beautiful. I turnedmy light off to make sure he couldnt see me standing at the window, looking into his. But he didnt looked out the window anyway. It looked like he was talking to someone, but as far as I could tell he was the only one in the room. I watched him puttig down his cigarette as he took off his dark red sweater. I didnt expected him to be this thin. It seemed like he stopped talking and suddenly he started to raise his hands above his head, moving gracefully. He was dancing all alone by himself. In his kitchen. I couldnt help but staring at him and started to feel kinda bad for watching this behind my curtain. But something about him was just so insanly attractive. i stared at his fragile chest, his bony ribs, his messy bed hair. I guess he couldn`t find sleep, just like me. I wondered if he was sleepwalking. The way he moved was extraordinary. Suddenly he stopped. I almost got scared because I was so drawn to his dance moves, it seemed so unnatural to just stop. I took a step back from my window because he came a step closer to his. But he just leaned over the sink now. It looked like he was crying.  Something about this hurted my heart. I didnt even knew him but I couldnt help but feeling empathy for this beautiful, fragile man across the street, He was crying harder now. I felt my eyes watering as he slapped his own face. Why would he do that? Then he watched out the window. I was hiding in the corner of my room so fast I guess my curtains moved. I hope he didnt caught me staring. My heart was racing. Was he still there? I waited two minutes till I watched out the window again. He was gone.

ARTHUR I decited to go through the pages again I had written a week ago. I have to figure out why I remembered writing something that wasnt there in the morning. I skipped though the paged and stopped at a page that didnt even looked familir to me. Little drawings of catladies smoking cigs. i don`t remenber drawing this and start to read. "Insomnia is choking me again. It wrappes its strong arms around my neck, smothering me to death. At least thats how it feels while lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. So last night I wandered around the apartment for at least two hours straight. I smoked two packs of cigs as the music started playing in my head again. There is always music in my head, well, most of the time. Sometimes it gets so loud I can`t ignore it anymore. Its just floathing althrough my body, like energy. It holds me in its warm arms and I have to obey. It wanted me to dance again last night, so I moved around the kitchen to the music and it was so tragically beautiful in between the movements it made me do, that it almost started to hurt my body. So I stopped and wished for the sound to stop but it didnt and I just stood there and started to cry. Watching my tears falling into the kitchen sink, like the rain outside. The music still playing in my head. I slapped my face. Hard. Still noisy. I watched out the window. Gotham was crying, too. The city was just as depressed as I was. I swear I could see a shadow in the window across the street. But thats impossible. The neighbors there moved out some weeks ago. Must be my visions again."

YOU I couldnt stop thinking about the man across the street since I saw him. I watched out the window for so many times but I didnt got to see him for about thee days. But then I saw him crossing the street as I was just about to go buy some food. I know it wasnt the right thing to do but I followed him. I just needed to see him closer. I kept my distance so he won`t notice me. He was walking like someone that just got beaten up, his thin body hidden behind a brown sweater , and a jacket that looked way too huge on his small shoulders. He kept looking to the ground, his brown curls hanging sweaty upon his forehead. Even though his body language looked sad, he still managed to be extremly attractive to me. He was walking to the tram station and waited on his tram to arrive as I tried to be just a face in the crowsd, so I could take a closer look at him. I passed some people standing in the way until I found the right spot. There he was. Just about some foots away from me.And suddenly, as I was staring, he was looking right at me. God, I felt like my heart just sopped. Never ever have I seen more beautiful eyes in my life. So intense, piercing right though me, green but so very sad. I dont know if it was just my mind playing tricks on me but i felt like he caught me staring. I wanted to  turn around and leave imediately but his tram arrived and he got in there before I could even react. At night his pretty face appeared in my mind. Againa nd again. I just couldnt get him out of my head.I was closing my eyes, and caught myself dreaming about kissing him.  I laughed at myself. Silly girl ! Dreaming about the mysterious new neighbor was such a clishe. But it wouldnt help. I still wanted to get to know him. there was something so mysterious about him. His little dance in the kitchen. The crying at the sink.... his eyes!   I thought about ways to just talk to him, I mean we were neigbors, right? I could find a reason to just go to him and say something. But nothing came to my mind. So I decited to follow him one more time. Maybe he would just ran into me and we would talk. Two days later I saw him leaving the house again, so I threw a jacket over my shoulder and got downstairs in a hurry. This time there weren`t much people around so it was even harder for me to follow him without getting caught. Something about watching him started to turn me on.It was fun to fantasize about someone who didnt even knew you existed. But at the same time I wanted him to know that I exist. Maybe not yet but... He went to the pharmacy. I stopped outside. I thought about going in and pretend I wanted to buy something. But I forgot my purse so this would have been embarrassing. I saw him from behind, his blue pants looked baggy on him. Everything did. And just when I thought this was a good situation to stalk him, he turned around again and I knew he saw me. He looked me right into my eyes! I captured the moment he looked at me in my mind and tought about it in the afternoon, when I was lying in my bed, dreaming about touching his beautiful face. Soon he became my fave fantasie. I couldnt even find pleasure in any other daydream anymore. He was my sexy secret and I liked it that way. But I just knew that soon this wouldnt be enough. I had to get closer. I wanted him to see me. Not just from across the street. I wanted to get to know him as a person. I needed to know his story, I needed to know why he was so sad.

ARTHUR I just couldnt figure out my very own diary anymore. Something definitaly went wrong at the moment. I guess all the lonelyness got too much. I mean, I must have been used to this  but i wasnt. It got harder every day of my life. I wished for someone to love me so much that I had visions about girls. I tend to get them a lot but then it stopped for a while and now it seemed to start again. I was kinda worried about my condition and took two more pills today. I knew I shouldnt but I thought it would be better than forgetting to take them again. The slight overdose made me sweat a lot so I was in underwear only for the whole day, just lying on the coouch, watching all my fave episodes of teh Murray Franklin show. The only thing that made me stay up was going to the kitchen to make some coffe. I watched out the window while waiting for the water to bowl. There she was again. the girls I saw at the tram stationa nd at the pharmacy. She was crossing the street. I checked my forehead for fever.  I was burning up. Must be the overdose. "She`s not really there" I whispered to myself "Arthur, she`s not real, don`t even look". But I looked. And I could swear she was looking up my window before she headed to my house. I blushed. But I guess that was also caused by the fever. God, she looked like an angel. Such a sweet girl. She would never even  give me a look in real life. I knew that. And if she did... I wouldn´t even know what to do. I`ve never been with a woman before in my whole life. I never even kissed someone before. I`m just a loner. All I have are my fantasies. And Dr Kane wants to take them away from me,too. Maybe I should just give in and accept them. What if it wasnt a hallucination this time? What if this girl really saw me? What if?

You I did it. I wrote him a postcard. I held the card in my hands for like an hour and stared at it. I thought I wasnt brave enough to actually throw it in his letter box. But I did.I sneaked into the house and when I was standing in front of the letter boxes I wondered which one could be his. Thank god  some lady just got out of the elevator and I asked her which letter box belongs to the window with the thin curtain. And she told me that they belong to apartment 8J. It just took me about some seconds to find the right box. P. FLECK. There it was. FLECK. I threw my postcard in without giving it a second thought, otherwise I would have changed my mind. I was heading back home, blushing.

ARTHUR I woke up with a bad headache. Another appointment with Dr. Kane. I wanted to take a bath but I was too lazy and decited to let it be. I just brushed my hair back, lighted a cig and went out the house. I checked the letter box and hoped for a letter from Thomas Wayne, I mean, I knew there wouldnt be one but it would make my mother happy so I still hoped for it. Somehow she was obsessed with Wayne and I didnt even knew why. My heart just skipped a beat as I saw an hand written postcard. Wayne? I started reading it. "Dear mysetrious stranger, You don`t know who I am but I saw you out on the streets some days ago and I think I fell in love with you. I even dreamed about you at night. I really hope you`re doing fine. Kisses The girl who loves you"

I just kept staring at the letters. I rubbed my eyes. the letters were still there. The girl who loves you. I must have blushed. Was this real? I let my fingers slide over the paper. It felt real. I turned the card around. A plain red heart on white background. I touched it so many times and hoped for a proof that this was eighter real or a dream. Sometimes I am not sure anymore. Who would ever send me a card? I searched for a stamp. None. Someone must have threw it in the letter boy by themself. The girl ! The girl I saw on the street. Now it all made sense to me. Was she following me? I smiled. The thought of this pretty girl having a crush on me was wonderful. But I got scared at the same time. I could never get up and talk to her. How could I? I bet she thinks I am some sexy guy who knows how to get it on. She was dreaming about me? What dreams? I imagined her touching herself while thinking about me and I giggled to myself. "Nahh she wouldnt do that" I said to myself. Reading the postcard again "Or would you, sweet strange girl?" I put the postcard close to my heart. Her fingers must have touched the paper all over when she was writing me these lines. Does she want to touchme with those fingers? Oh I would love to touch her fingers. But what if she ever comes up to me personally and I would just stand there, frozen. Not a word coming out of my mouth? The thought of this scared me a lot. My biggest fear was to laugh in her presence.The laugh that wasnt really one. My condition. That would scare her away for sure. I felt my eyes watering and a tear fell on the postcard, right on the word "kisses". It smeared, which made me even sadder. I needed this card to be perfect. I felt the urge to laugh coming up my throath. But then something else came to my mind. What if I showed the card to Dr. Kane? She could proof to me that this card truly exists. The urge to laugh was gone. I put the card into my paper bag and hurried up to see Dr. Kane.

"Hello, Arthur. How have you been thoughthe last week? Any negative thoughts?" Dr Kane was repeating her same old questions again as I smoked my cig. Next thing would be asking me about my journal. BUT I would have something much more interesting with me this time. "I brought something with me today" I said as I grabbed the card. "I wondered if you could take a look and tell me what you think about this?" Dr Kane took the card out of my hands. She read it. "Who gave it to you, Arthur?" "The girl who loves me" Dr Kane gave me that look "Arhur..." "Well... it says `The girl who loves you `  there at the end, right? "Right" "So, you see it too?" "Sure, Arthur" She gives me the card back. I smiled. It was real. The card was real. Which meant the girl was real,too. No hallucinations. No visions. "Good" "So someone send it to you?" "I found it in my letter box, it has no stamp" "No stamp? Are you sure you didnt wrote it yourself?" she looked confused. I bet she couldnt imagin someone falling in love me me eighter. "Dr Kane, you know how my handwriting looks like." "Right. Can I see it again?" I gave her the card back. Her eyes are focused on it. "No typos" she whispered to herself. "Looks like someone really likes you, Arthur. Be careful" "W-what do you mean?" "You know that you sometimes... well... you tend to lose sense of reality sometimes. It could be difficult to meet up with a girl for you". I put the card back in my bag. "You think I couldnt handle it to have a girlfriend?" "Thats not what I said..." "It is exactly what you said" I got up and left the room. "See you next week, Dr Kane. I cant do this today" I got back home and placed the card under my pillow. I wanted to sleep on it. It was the first love note I ever got and felt so special. I grabbed my Pjs out of my wardrobe and looked at the red suit hanging in there. I never put it on by now. I always felt like it is waiting for a special event in my life. But nothing special ever happens. Until now. The card. the love note. The girl. I grab the suit and walk to the mirror. Holding it in front of my body to see how it would look like on me. I felt so insecure when thinking about dating a girl. I didnt knew how to react in front of her. Maybe the suit would help? I shook my head. Nahh. Just a stupid thought. Back in bed I imagined how it would be to have a girlfriend. To go out on dates with her, walking hand in hand across the streets. I bet Gotham wouldnt be half as bad as if its now. Sharing my life with someone. My bed. Having someone to cuddle with at night. Someone to calm down my bouncing leg. Someone to have sex with, It would be sweet. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

YOU Its been a day since I threw the card in the letter box. No answer. Of course not. He didnt even knew who I was. I watched out the window and hoped to see him in his apartment again. I got lucky this time. I saw him lying on the couch watching tv. He wora a cosy PJ and looked so cute in it. Still sexy though. I could eat him up. I wish I could just go over, knock on his door and tell him that i am the girl who send him the card. I wonder if he even got it yet. maybe he didnt open the letter box since then.  I saw him smoking, writing down some notes.   I tried to see more details of the living room. There was a clown mask and a costume hanging beside a mirror. It seemed like he had a thing for clowns, which made me think. maybe I`ll have a lil surprise for him... I searched through my stuff and  found the big, red flower that used to be part of a Clown outfit I was wearing years ago when I dressed up with my best friends. It looked brand new. Maybe he would like it. I put a little note on it and decited to put it in front of his door. Tomorrow. I couldn`t wait. The next morning I got out of bed early, to wait till he got out of the house.  When he did I sneaked into the house and waited till someone came out again, which lastet at least 50 minutes but it was worth it. I got in the elevator and walked to the door which said 8J. I hold my breath for a second. That was were he lived. He walked through that door every day. I wish I could just walk through it and go into his apartment.Looking though his stuff. I was a bit shamed of myself for having those kinda feelings. I felt like a stalker. But I couldnt stop my own thoughts from wanting him.  I put the big plush Flower down on the doormat and touched the door knob. Just to touch it. To touch what he touched  some about an hour ago. It felt sexy.

ARTHUR I just came home from work at Haha`s and felt drained. It was a long day. I got out of the elevator and saw something lying on my doormat. A big, red plush flower. Like one for clowns! My heart jumped when I picked it up. There was a little note saying "Dear stranger, if you want to meet me , I`ll be at the little fountain in the park today  at 7 O`Clock . The one with the litlle bird stature. It would be a pleasure to get to know you better. Kisses, The girl who loves you"

I bit my lips. Another note. She wanted to meet me. My hands were shaking while reading the note one more time. I actually was shaking so much I had troubles to get my keys into the lock. I threw my jacket on the couch, sat down and pressed the plushy flower to my chest. It felt so soft to the touch. A present. I never got presents. Not even when I was a kid or on my birthdays. Everything about this felt so special. I wanted to meet her so bad but at the same time I was so scared about meeting her, I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my reflection. I looked tired. Drained. Like someone sucked the life out of my. Heavy bags under my yes, from not getting enough sleep. I brushed my hair back. Better. At least a lil bit. I checked the time and realized it was already after 5 O`clock. I got no time to waste. Should I really go there? Or was Dr Kane right?

YOU I got ready for my potential date. I  didnt even knew if he would show up but i hoped so. I dressed up in my usual clothes. I wanted to be my authentic self around him. I was already waiting on the spot 30 minutes too early. I just couldnt wait any longer. I needed to know if he would come. I wanted to get to know him so bad.

ARTHUR Alright, I could never forgive myself if i wouldnt take the chance, so I decited to show up. I took a bath to feel fresh, washed my hair and put on some nice clothes. Not the red suit though. I picked dark red pants, a matching vest and a white shirt under it. I hope I looked decent in it and bought some roses before I made my way to the park. I bought them from the last dollars I had but I didnt cared. I wanted to give her some nice flowers. Gotham looked different today while watching out of the trams window. Less dark and depressing. But I guess it was just me feeling better as usual. I just wanted it to be a nice date. I just wanted her to like me for who I am. I got out of the tram, walking into the park. I saw her from a distance already. There was just one person standing at the fountain, so it must have been her. She was so beautiful, I couldnt belive she was waiting FOR ME. My hands holding the roses started to get all sweaty and I wiped them off on my pants. I stumbled right in front of her as I arrived and the flowers fell out of my hands.  "Ooooppps...I`m...I`m so sorry.. I...." my nervousness killed me. She similed at me as I picked up the flowers and handed them to her "I....um....brought you...som..something...um..." I stuttered. She gave me the sweetest hug "Thats so sweet of you...? Um... I don`t even know your name" she was blushing. "Arthur. My name is Arthur." "Hey Arthur. I`m Y/N. Nice to meet you. Thank ou so much for the roses. They`re beautiful". "Yeah... thank you for the notes...I don`t know what to say...you`re beautiful". Y/N smiled from cheek to cheek. "Thank you, Arthur. Would you like to take a walk though the park and get some coffee later? It would be a nice way to get to know each other. What do you think?" "I think this sounds just wonderful". She gently wrapped her arm around my waist as we were walking though the park. It was a late summer evening and for the first time ever I noticed the birds singing. The music in my head stopped. Maybe Gotham wasn`t as bad after all.

[the-space-case]

Hi! I really like your comic and your style and I was wondering: do you have any tips for people like me who would like to make their own comics? I've tried before but I never seemed to reach the 5th page without giving up.

Hiya! I have a few tips. I’m not trained or anything these are just some of my personal methods. it might not even work for you since everyone is different but it might help? They’re not really in a particular order either haha. 

1.) Like what you’re making. This one is kind of obvious but really if you’re not completely invested in the story you’re making it’ll fall flat due to a lack of interest. Make your comic about things you like! Not like fleeting things like actual things you’ve enjoyed for awhile generally. Like spooky things, or cute things for example.

2.) Make alot of rough drafts. All at once. Flesh out an entire chapter really roughly. I mean real rough. like gesture drawing rough that takes like fifteen minutes or less a page. I’ll make about seventeen rough draft pages at once, simmer about it for a few days, and then go back to add more if im satisfied OR i’ll redo the chapter entirely. If you have a whole chapter roughed out it’ll be easier to work on it later because its already there for you. 

3.)double back to check the pacing. Sometimes its weird in the rough drafts so you gotta throw some panels around or add an extra page. if it feels a bit off leave it and the come back a few hours or days later. youll find it out pretty quick after a break. 

4.)dont be afraid to fix mistakes. If something looks weird or clashes with the page when you’re still doing lineart, go back to the roughdraft layer and fix it. zoom in and out of the page and check to make sure the drawing isnt tilted oddly or disproportional. i myself have issues with proportion so im constantly fixing bits and pieces using cntrl+T haha. It’ll save you trouble if you do it early instead of later when all the layers are in the way. 

This next one is a little bit counterproductive to #4 but its for after the page is done.

5.) accept mistakes. You’re making alot of art for one page. you’ll notice looking back on finished pages that theres gonna be a lower quality over it bc of sheer quantity, but you’ll fall into a rhythm and realize you’re making a steady incline in quality overall if you keep moving forward. once you declare that a page is done, leave it.

6.) just do it. Youre gonna be afraid to start, wondering how its going to be received, wondering if its good enough. You have to shove the anxiety down as violently you can and draw it as if you’re your only audience. Do it for yourself, because you know that you’ll improve your skill and even yourself by making it. 

7.) keep your files organized. I label every page for recovery as RECOVERY and then a number--for example, RECOVERY2.17 is for recovery chapter two page seventeen. your files, if placed alphabetically, will all be in a row for an easy browse. keep it all in their own place for easy finding. 

8.) make a palette and references. Consistency is IMPORTANT. I drew Will a few times to get a feel for him before i started the comic, and used the eyedropper tool repeatedly so the colors were consistent in the comic. (I didn’t do the same for the pine twins and it shows if you go through the comic a bit fast lol) The palette doesnt have to be fancy, just make sure you know what everything is for. Also make sure you know your kerning and leading settings so the panels are consistent as well.  (mine is below!) make a checklist if you need to for the math stuff, i use the stickies app on my laptop for a checklist of things to make sure to add before i say im done--like shading, for example, that for some reason i always forget. Also the font type, gen font size, details like tattoos and quirks. 

9.) HAVE FUN. Inject some humor into your drawing to keep yourself entertained when you work--for example, i label my layers in puns and quips. the skin layer is usually called “skiiiiiiiiin” and copies are usually called “___ 2: electric boogaloo”. when i made homestuck drawings id label them with a character quirk instead haha. Also its good to listen to podcasts or music when you work. I listen to music, The Adventure Zone, Welcome to Night Vale, Game Grumps or The Yogscast when i’m working. Audiobooks are also a good idea! Have it in a playlist so you dont have to stop drawing to change it.

10.) Don’t let yourself get distracted, but take breaks when you need them. Food and hydration as well as bathroom breaks are v important. You cant survive to draw if you dont eat, and keep in mind that being dehydrated gives you headaches and messes with workflow. eat that food. dont die. not eating messes with your psyche--youre more likely to be depressed/make it worse/stope working if you dont eat so do that shit. keep some snacks and a waterbottle handy. also lower the caffeine shakes are good for some styles but not others lmfao. 

also: avoid tumblr when working. give yourself a set time/timelimit to work. you’ll realize that once you start its easier to keep rolling but you cant be interrupted or itll be harder to get back to in the middle when scrolling the many delightful distractions of the internet. be brisk in your breaks. 

11.) i have depression so this is especially important--REMEMBER TO TAKE YOUR MEDS IF YOU HAVE ANY.  p self explanatory. i go through withdrawals if i dont and get the worst migraines so i mean keep on top of that shit. 

12.)Uh hhhh thats all i got OH WAIT reward yourself for finishing pages. Be it a treat or a nice bubble bath or some videogame time. Whatever you want. just reward yourself for working. even if its work you weren't entirely satisfied with, have something to look forward to when you finish, and tell yourself you did well because you just did a fuckton of work. BE PROUD

(also some people say to tell other people about what youre doing so theyll check up on you to make sure youre working but?? i kind of feel like im being nagged if thats the case so that just depends on you lol. )

[ultimateseoorg]

Visit PBN, GuestPost or Syndication for Backlink Building for the whole story

Backlink Building

We can spend all day optimizing our pages for keywords that we researched for days and never rank content on Google Search.  Its just the cold hard fact that in SEO onpage optimization is the easiest thing and it used to work in the 1990s … heck back then you could keyword stuff and just repeat the same phrase enough in the background and you’d get some traction.  Yes, SEO is dead … if thats the SEO you are using.

Backlinks moved in and added some credence to the claims that our content should rank for this or that keyword.  It made sense, each site that links to you with the anchor text including your keyword was that site basically vouching for your content.  If thats all you think backlinks are then … Yes, SEO is dead … simply having a ton of links to your site isn’t a sure fire way to demonstrate that your content is rank worthy anymore.

Backlinks created a storm of opportunity in SEO for gaming the system and stacking the deck.  I love telling people about the Google Bomb Miserable Failure and how it defined George Bush in 2004.  Or the story of the downfall of JCPenny who mysteriously ranked number one for all manner of their products until Google took manual action and basically they have never recovered.  Those bring me to these games we developed in an effort to fool Google into making us number one in SERPs.

Link Building Schemes

Everything I’m going to mention below in this discussions is a link building scheme.  Just like buying multiple domains and having them all for one business, some call it a multi-domain strategy, all of these are understood to be below the belt with Google penalties in the wait.  But thats not exactly true, I strongly think theres a time and place for each of these tools today and they do all still work, it’s how you use them and why.

Anything done to increase backlinks is a link building scheme, thats basically the definition of it.  Which is why I roll my eyes when a client is interviewing me for backlink building and says “white hat only” … that means content improvement only.  Otherwise its all a scheme for building backlinks.

PBN Private Blog Networks in 2019

Backlinks are not dead.  You just cant have links pointing to you from irrelevant sites that have no purpose or traffic anymore.  Thats actually good and its making searches useful again.

But what you may call a PBN may be a workshop for testing, what if I as a high school english teacher assigned my 150 students to create blogs and made their homework to discuss the assigned books I’ve given them for the year?  They’ll all point to the same links likely.  Is that a Private Blog Network?  If you feel it is then are we saying that the students work, their content, is not going to be of value to someone else searching for that same book?

In the easiest terms a true PBN is simply a site thats up that has no real purpose other than to link to other sites.  You can spot them when you see them.  I’d argue that the example of the students I made is not one and its more so the intent of the author.  The student example though likely falls into most people’s definition of a link building scheme.

Effect of a Press Release in 2018

Press Releases for Backlinks

Sometime around the time PBNs were being hunted like vampires for de-indexing someone realized they could put links on publication websites with the ease of a press release.  They likely did it several times and each time it was a little less relevant … not newsworthy what they were announcing.

“Such And Such Company hires Dan Guy” isn’t of importance and no one other than Dan probably cares.  And they told someone else and it ballooned into abuse of Press Releases for backlinks which Google clamped down on to a large degree.  No-follow links started coming from the sites and the press release died.  But not totally.

Link Exchange / Reciprocal Links

Quid Pro Quo is more than just a sexual harassment term that means this for that.  I often get emails from people complimenting an article and then pointing out that they weren’t included in the topic and if I link to them, they’ll link to me.  Now honestly every chance Ive had Ive added the link and left the link back to the wayside … usually thats what I get and thats why folks hate swapping links because theres little reason to expect the link to remain in force.

I dont know what it looks like but I’ll know it when I see it.  Too bad it isnt that simple one person puts that phrase as “I know it when I see it, and someone else will know it when they see it, but what they see and what they know may or may not be what I see and what I know, and that’s okay.”

GuestPosts for Backlinks

Then someone decided, hey let’s write for each other.  And of course…that got out of control with Cat Blogs including Dog articles and Dog articles about catching mice.  The lines got blurred and it was hard to tell what was what.   Again though just like before its hard to tell when something is off limits, it makes sense for Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper to guest post on each others blogs before they do a New Years Eve special together … ( they were great, miss it) but … is that going to hurt their SEO on each others site?

It shouldn’t even though they are pretty darn different they have a legitimate reason and their viewers and readers probably eat that content up.  Again, the intent of the author is in play and the value to the readers.

Syndicated Articles for Backlinks

So a marriage of Press Releases and Guest Posts are Syndicated Content.  People generally freak out over it because of the fairy troll that someone made up called ” Duplicate Content ” it isn’t important.  Don’t waste time worrying about Duplicate Content.

Think about the Associated Press … they write an article about a war in some far off place and then 2000 news sites place the article on their homepages, does that mean that all those news sites are penalized?  No … and Google says and has said for a decade what I’m telling ya here.  There is in fact no Duplicate Content penalty.

But again its the intent of the author and the value of the content that decides if it’s a link building scheme.

User Behavior – Bounce Rate, Visit Duration

Google Analytics becomes a taddle tell.   How do we determine the value of content to the reader?  User Behavior is the biggest ranking factor these days.   We all love free right?  So we added Google Analytics everywhere and it tells us stuff thats really very sensitive about how people interact with our content.

Stuff that say a search engine company might want to know if it were trying to judge your site’s content using user behavior as the biggest metric for keyword ranking.  And BOOM now ya get it.  If ya don’t then go back onpage and say that keyword a few more times, cause you’re in the wrong class.

That free data is also the data that your giving to Google for free for them to track everyone on the web and determine how people interact with your content vs. your competitors site which likely also has Google Analytics.

No one in SEO really connects the dots … they help push clients onto Google Analytics but its been talked about before even on Moz.com they note 7 reasons why you should not use Google Analytics.  They point out in the fourth reason …

4. Giving Big G too much information.

Google sees everything you see. Think about that…they know everything. Do you really want to be responsible for giving them that kind of power? Supposedly that’s the trade off for the fact that…

How Do We Build Backlinks Then In 2019?

Use any method that actually fits the need, the tools above are all valid and in play.  You just cant abuse it and shamelessly do something in the goal to gain a backlink.  Share GuestPosts but put some effort into it and speak to the other site’s readers.  Send a press release but do it when its actually news worthy stuff.  If McDonald’s found a way to make organic fat free fast food that tastes just the same .. they’d likely make a press release and the user behavior would suggest those links are valid.

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